misses

here i'm back again...
been very tired recently, not knowing y...
did my pregnancy test today... negative! quite disappointed. i thought it would be positive....
yongen has been coughing badly since last thursday. yet today she still went to school cuz it was a field trip to the musuem. think exhibition is abt olden days fashion.

talking abt olden days... i always miss my childhood days... borrowed a book abt olden singapore from the library. it as got man pics and interesting facts... it reminds me last time we used to call carbonated drink as 'pop chwee' hahaha...
and it showed a pic of an indian man tugging a cow to street selling fresh milk!Wow, fresh indeed huh? hahaha...

i love to go back to my childhood environment. i really do. i miss those flats, trees, even smell and noise.. of course my beloved grandma, her smile and her voice... but everything is gone. the person and the buildings.. everything. i regretted not taking enough pic of the buildings and environment...

time really flies. grandma left me in 1997, ie 12 years ago!!! wow! it seems like yesterday when i was still playing by her side... if she is still around, she would be 83. and if only she still around, she would see dongwei, witness my wedding and see my children... if she is still around, she would have accepted Jesus... (rather, would i knoW Jesus if grandma is still around? )

FEEL LIKE TALKING TO HER ONCE AGAIN
FEEL LIKE SINGING TO HER
FEEL LIKE TEASING HER
SO THAT I COULD SEE HER SMILE AGAIN.

FORGOT TO HOLD HER WHEN SHE WAS WITH ME
FORGOT TO KISS HER
FORGOT TO SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE HER
UNTIL SHE STAY NO LONGER WITH ME.

IN MY HEART I PRAY
I PRAY IN MY HEART
THE ONLY WAY I COULD EVER SEE HER AGAIN
IS WHEN MY MERCY LORD ALLOWS

TREASURE WHAT YOU HAVE
GIVE THANKS WHENEVER YOU CAN
FORGIVE WHOSOEVER
CUZ ONE DAY YOU WILL MISS ONE ANOTHER

sadness... perhaps due to my disappointment... perhaps due to my loneliness... perhaps due to her death anniversary approaching.. perhaps, no perhaps, just feel so...