suuuper deee duper long time never blog le.....
cuz i am supppper dddddeduuuper buuuzzzzzzzy.....
other than my girl has started going to school, i have started to work since 11th this month. i am working for xprienz pte ltd, as a central admin person for their Food Hygiene Course.
my work place is near to my girl's kindergarten. every morning after sending her to school i will go to the 'office' (it doesn't look like one lor) to do filing, invoicing and data updating. then 3 hours later i will fetch my girl home from school and put the children to nap. while they nap, i got to start updating my list for those people who have registered for the course either via phone calls or email. other than that, phone calls come in every now and then. on average, i could simply handle about 10 calls, clear about 10 emails on course related enquiries.
i realise it is really not easy though i am working from home most of the time. i find myself neglected my children. my girl would request me to stop working, shut my computer to accompany her. my boy would sometimes go hungry due to a past-timed feeding...
guess i really need to adjust myself. i told myself that other than handling calls, i will not do anything job related after my children wake up from nap.... i am still trying ... cuz i abit workaholic, want everything done...
the most headache issue i am facing now is that i really need someone to help me take care of my son while i go to the office in the morning. for the past weeks, dongwei's cousin had been helping me to take care of qi. but she will be starting work april. so i have to find alternative le. my boss (kok) doesn't mind me bringing qi along to the work place. but i am stressed with him around. he would touch and tug and even climb anything available. including computer, fridge.... and the shop door is open. he can easily roam away without anyone knowing....
my friend suggested me to put qi in half day care nearby the place i work (by april he is alr 18 months). i have ever thought of it before. but he is too young. he might fall sick easily due to weak immune. i feel that i have failed my mothering role to him. i remember last time when en was at that age, i spent so much time talkin with her and teaching her all sorts of thing. for qi, i only manage to take care of his basic daily needs. now whenever i want to play with him, en will grab the attention by quickly block qi and come near me.. then that poor boy could only whine whine whine and walk away, help himself with the toys.
God, please tell me is it Your will for me to work... I have to admit that i enjoy working and feel great sense of achievement in this job. but i have neglected my precious children.... Lord, if You allow me to work, please grant me the wisdom and capability to be able to cope with both ends. let me have peace Lord instead of guilt. i feel that i have no turning point due to some hidden reason.. i feel sort of geared to work le.. but no matter how much i like my job (and the $), as long as my husband requested me to drop the work, i will do so.
