没有人有资格自夸自己的婚姻有多稳固。
没有一句爱的宣言是可靠的。
因为只要还没到达终点，
谁也不知会发生什么事。
看见时下年轻人爱到不把周围人看在眼里，大庭广众搂搂抱抱、亲来亲去，真的让我想上前问他们，爱情，就是这样的表现吗？如此行，是因真的爱到忘我，还是只是炫耀？是因爱到无法自拔，还是情欲无法自控？
什么是男女之爱？这样的爱是否有委身，是否有舍己精神？很悲哀的，许多公主王子的故事在最现实的部分才开始就结束了。它们总是用＂从此他们过着快乐的生活＂交代一切！哎，多少无知的人就因此陷入幻想不实际的爱情甜蜜当中。
记得自己二十来岁时，也对爱情充满憧憬。为什么是二十来岁才＂发春＂？哈，因为之前我和异性称兄道弟，没有想嫁的意念，一心想做女强人，把那些没用的男人踩死！所以读书时代，我是个tomboy。没人敢碰我！err 老实说，男人也没兴趣碰我！因为一点女人味都没有lor！直到上完中学，自己才慢慢在身份上＂清醒一点＂，然后理工学院毕业后才开始有明显＂回春＂现象！到了教会，自己才开始渴望嫁人！记得当年一直很怕自己嫁不出去，没人会要。毕竟，二十多岁还没恋爱经验的事实让我感情的信心非常低。记得当时牧师娘问我希望自己五年后会做什么时，我当时心想，我希望嫁给某某人，为他做饭生孩子，在家养育孩子。但当时我好像没有这样回答他。因为自己觉得这梦想太不长进了！哈哈！可五年后，这不长进的梦想真的落实ley！哈哈！
当时的渴望，让我今时想，＂哎，也不过如此嘛！＂真的，太阳底下没新事！我发现自己每来到个阶段当所渴望的达到后，就会觉得其实也没什么。。为何自己当初会这么紧张。。？为何当初不好好享受那时的状况。。我不是后悔，而是更加领悟圣经所说的＂凡事都有时＂这道理。等待有时是美的。可是我又想，若今天我还是孤家寡人，我还会这样潇洒吗？哈，我想我还是会紧张到要死要活咯！哎，人就是这样贱啦！哈哈！那又怎么说呢？人生就是如此！得不着时，又渴慕到~~。得到了，就会chey！！！（忘记感恩咯）
说回爱情，真正的爱，不应只是在责任上。因为这样的爱会演变成形式化！真正的爱情应是努力地爱如当初！如李资政说，＂娶（嫁）你所爱的，然后爱你所娶（嫁）的＂。
李资政夫妇的婚姻是圆满的！只有当爱情持续到其中一方的生命来到终点、即使生命结束了，还在怀念、思念，那才是真正的爱！有些夫妇只是形式化地生活在一起，因为责任，因为习惯，因为名份。那是悲哀的。那不是真爱！因为可能已经没有交流，更别说是默契了！这样的关系是脆弱的！这样的夫妇，应该找回当初的爱情，爱你所娶（嫁）的！而不是习惯或容忍你所娶（嫁）的！
愿上帝祝福每段婚姻和每个渴望结婚的人！阿门！
我的骄傲！
Monday, October 4, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
给 咏 恩 的 信（ 一）
咏恩的学校需要咏恩与家人合拍的照片作特别作业。刚刚我在书房翻找适合的相片时，发现了当年刚生下咏恩时给她留下的信件。我记得当时我这么作是因为看了一部戏，故事是关于一个父亲得了癌症快离世了，于是便每天给自己快出世的宝贝录下自己与宝贝说话的片段，让孩子可以每天看见爸爸的样子和听爸爸说的话，直到宝宝三岁大为止。这情节让我留下深刻的印象。因此当时我也决定为我的咏恩留下' 情书'。
给咏恩的信有很多章。我会一段一段地与大家分享。
给咏恩的信有很多章。我会一段一段地与大家分享。
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝
日期：2005 年1 月2 日（ 再多一个星期咏恩就满月了）
咏恩
很高兴，也很感谢神把你赐给我为女儿。你是一个聪明可爱的好孩子。虽然书刊上总说一个月大的孩子还不懂事，可我却相信在这个时候你已经懂得听话了。
你刚出世的时候，重有3.915KG，是一个大BABY。MUMMY 在生你的时候，伤口裂有“3RD DEGREE TEAR” （ 这是很严重的裂伤，再稍严重些，妈妈可能会下半身瘫痪或大小便失禁。）！医生在为MUMMY 缝伤口的时候，MUMMY 一直在忍痛。 连 LAUGHING GAS （ 一种止痛的气） 都无法让 MUMMY “ 免痛”。DADDY 当时还把手腕放在我的嘴边， 他说我若真受不了的话可以咬他的手 ( 哈哈。。DADDY 多爱MUMMY！之后， 他告诉MUMMY 整个生产的过程让他觉得很可怕！）。
但是， 这些痛都是值得的。当我第一眼看见你的时候，我就爱上了你。你好可爱！长得好象小时候的DADDY。（ 这 让 我 感 到 好 骄 傲。 因 为 我 觉 得 我 送 了DADDY 一 份 金 钱 买 不 到 的 最 佳 礼 物－－ 我 们 爱 的 结 晶）
MUMMY 很 早 以 前 就 已 决 定 要 以 母 乳 哺 养 你。 因 为 一 来 可 以 为DADDY 省 钱； 二 来， 要 给 我 的 咏 恩 最 好 的 食 物（ 母 乳 比 任 何 一 样 昂 贵 的 奶 粉 更 好）MUMMY 的这个决定需要我多么多的意志！因为你是大BABY，医院的护士小姐怕MUMMY 不够奶水供应你，加上你出世后的前几天吮吸能力不好，又爱睡，晚上不肯吮吸奶水，所以医院的护士曾好几回提议MUMMY 给你参奶粉喝。可妈妈死都不屈！
之后，你的黄旦指数偏高 （ 高达340，正常指数是低过100，200 以上便需光疗，300 以上算很高。）， 医生怀疑是因母乳的关系，再加上黄旦需要喝多奶让BILIRUBIN （ 导致黄旦的色素，可以通过尿液和粪便排出体外）所以又建议MUMMY 给你喝奶粉。 可是MUMMY 仍然坚持以母乳喂哺你。 为了打倒医生护士们的所谓 “怕你喝不够”的论点，MUMMY 当时死命地用手挤奶，结果成功地挤出了很多奶给你喝。可MUMMY的坚持（或者说固执）让DADDY破财了。你因黄旦指数居高不下，结果在医院住了5天。这5天里， MUMMY没有离开你。MUMMY 舍不得离开你。好几次MUMMY都在暗暗哭泣，医院的护士还以为MUMMY患产后忧豫症！
最后，你出院了。MUMMY好开心。因为在医院里真的好辛苦。MUMMY的伤口很痛，看见你得要裸着身子蒙着双眼躺在硬绷绷的箱子里接受光疗更是让MUMMY心痛不已。且原本应在产后好好休息的MUMMY，必须半夜起身照顾你，我的身体实在快支撑不住了。但感谢神，他的力量与MUMMY 同在。
虽然你出院了，但MUMMY 还是得常常把你带去POLYCLINIC验血。由于MUMMY 一直坚持喂哺母乳，你的黄旦指数在出院后的第3天又恶劣了。直到圣诞节前夕，医生又提议我们把你带回医院，这回去KK。妈妈一听见又要去医院，整个人差点垮了下去。当时DADDY还跟MUMMY发脾气，可能是因为他也很担心、心烦，他怪MUMMY不让你晒太阳。可那是医生嘱咐不可以做的事嘛！！！
MUMMY 回到家收拾东西时心里一直在祷告。我告诉神这回我无法再陪你住医院了。一来我的身体已不行了；二来若我在那里照顾你，我肯定会一直把你抱出箱子，因为我不忍心在那里看着你在箱子里挣扎，而如此行肯定会使疗程缓慢。。
另一方面，我里头非常挣扎。我告诉神若我没有陪在你的身旁，让你一个人在那冷冷的箱子里接受灯疗，我便是一个差到极点的妈妈！我的心在那时非常的乱，不知如何是好。我一直抱着你，轻声地，泪流满面地跟你道歉着：“ 恩恩，对不起，这回妈妈无法陪你在医院里。可是并不是因为妈妈不要你，而是妈妈没有办法。。。”
就在那时候，外公刚好送鱼肉上我们家，得晓你又得回去医院，他立刻安排一辆德士载我们去。虽然在我们家楼下截德士并不难，但外公的这个举动让妈妈非常感动！我那时终于忍不住泪水，在外公面前泣不成声。（妈妈很少在别人面前哭成这样，尤其是在外公面前）这事以后，妈妈与外公的关系拉进了不少。感谢上帝！
真的是要将荣耀归给神！到了KK，你的黄旦指数竟然下降了一些！医生给你做了几项检验，证实你的黄旦与你的肝脏没有关系，或许是因母乳的关系才迟迟不退吧！最美的是，医生说你无需住院！
可以回家过圣诞，真是神的恩典！这事件的最大收获，就是妈妈与外公的关系拉进了不少（妈妈和外公原本是水火不容的）。咏恩记得，凡事要与人和睦，如罗马书12：18 说道“ 若能行，总要尽力与众人和睦。”
愿神祝福你的人际关系，让你是一个人见人爱，懂得体谅人的过失，原谅人的过犯的好孩子。啊们！
Friday, September 3, 2010
squeak squeak squeak....
咱家最近家有喜事！在一个晚上，我突然听见仓鼠哭泣的声音。当时的我觉得很奇怪。因为我已经把两只仓鼠分开了，按理说它们没有打架争吵，应该不会发出哭声才对。我运用了我灵敏的听觉，相信声音是从母仓鼠的笼子里传来的。往内一望，我毅然发现了五只粉红色的小东西。“Oh my God!!!”我届时不断地重复这句话，心里即兴奋又不知所措，家里又有baby 罗！而且不是一个，而是五个ley!!!
之前家里增添了两只仓鼠，我便上网参考关于如何更好照顾它们的资讯。我记得当时我也有读到关于繁殖仓鼠的课题，但是由于当时并没有想到我们的仓鼠会在家里生产，所以并没有详细地阅读。当我看见小baby的时候，我即刻上网去找资料。真的，我因为这样，对仓鼠的认识又加深了。
这些小东西，我真是越看越喜欢，越养越疼惜。咏恩一直恳恳哀求我不要把小仓鼠给别人。其实我自己何尝舍得呀？我打从心里已决定要把它们收养了，只是东威并不怎么支持这决定。。。
小仓鼠出世第四天，我发现宝宝少了一只。我东搜西找，都不见踪影。最后，我不得不面对现实，鼠妈妈把她的一只宝宝给吞食了。虽然这事让我觉得好伤心，但是我并没有怪仓鼠妈妈。因为我知道她是因为担心自己没法应付才会这样做的。或许你觉得疯狂，但我每个晚上都会坐在笼子旁观察妈妈哺乳孩子们的情景。看见仓鼠妈妈对孩子们的无微不至的照顾，我真的感到被鼓励，也同时觉得自己能给勇杰哺乳是一件多么温馨的事。
从小小的仓鼠身上，我学到了不少，也领悟了很多。仓鼠也为我和咏恩勇齐打开了许多话匣子。可惜东威没有这时间与情趣，否则这肯定是他和孩子们加强亲子关系的桥梁！
之前家里增添了两只仓鼠，我便上网参考关于如何更好照顾它们的资讯。我记得当时我也有读到关于繁殖仓鼠的课题，但是由于当时并没有想到我们的仓鼠会在家里生产，所以并没有详细地阅读。当我看见小baby的时候，我即刻上网去找资料。真的，我因为这样，对仓鼠的认识又加深了。
这些小东西，我真是越看越喜欢，越养越疼惜。咏恩一直恳恳哀求我不要把小仓鼠给别人。其实我自己何尝舍得呀？我打从心里已决定要把它们收养了，只是东威并不怎么支持这决定。。。
小仓鼠出世第四天，我发现宝宝少了一只。我东搜西找，都不见踪影。最后，我不得不面对现实，鼠妈妈把她的一只宝宝给吞食了。虽然这事让我觉得好伤心，但是我并没有怪仓鼠妈妈。因为我知道她是因为担心自己没法应付才会这样做的。或许你觉得疯狂，但我每个晚上都会坐在笼子旁观察妈妈哺乳孩子们的情景。看见仓鼠妈妈对孩子们的无微不至的照顾，我真的感到被鼓励，也同时觉得自己能给勇杰哺乳是一件多么温馨的事。
从小小的仓鼠身上，我学到了不少，也领悟了很多。仓鼠也为我和咏恩勇齐打开了许多话匣子。可惜东威没有这时间与情趣，否则这肯定是他和孩子们加强亲子关系的桥梁！
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
$$$的牢骚
记得当年读书时，拿的是父母给的零用钱， 记得小二时妈妈会递给我一张十元，忘了是一星期或多久给一次。。。然后渐渐地，零用钱“涨价”到$20。中学时代是一星期$50,包括车资与午餐和文具、书籍开销等。理工学院时期，父亲会一次过存$1,000 入我的户口，每年的一月和七月就会这么作。
每回拿钱时，都会觉得非常“委屈”。因为每次都会有被“威胁”的感觉，印象是要拿他们的钱就得要听他们的话。而且每次花钱就会想到妈妈常提醒的话“赚钱不易，不要乱花钱！”我心里总是渴望自己能够快些出来工作赚钱，这样就无需向父母拿钱了。。。
还记得当年的我充满抱负。希望自己将来在事业上要有所成就，赚大钱，可以买公寓给妈妈，给妈妈很多零用钱，请嬷嬷去馆子吃饭，买车代步，载送嬷嬷和妈妈去兜风,买很多玩具给堂弟妹们。。。我也想把自己打扮得漂漂亮亮，不要结婚，不要被捆锁，享受自由的生活。。。
十五岁那年，通过亲戚的介绍，我到乌节路的一件饮食店作侍应生。每天都要开工，每天作十个钟头，一个月大概赚取$600。所以算起来，整个年底假期，我一共赚了$900! 哇，当时候的我觉得这数目是大的罗！
$900，扣除了自己的交通费用后，我请了嬷嬷和姑妈到肥仔荣海鲜馆子吃饭，买了玩具给我的堂弟妹玩，为我的一位自小被欺压虐待，没穿过新衣服的表哥梳妆一番。我带他去剪头发、买新衣裤和腰带，还有新皮鞋。他当时好开心喔！见到他开心，我也感到满足。:) 当然，我也把部分钱花在自己身上，其余的存入银行。
理工学院毕业后，我终于可以花自己赚的钱了。可惜，当时嬷嬷已经离开了。。这是我的遗憾！ :(
出来的第一份工作是Personnel consultant. 原本是到该agency找工作，没想到却被他们recruit加入他们。在这间公司作了大概3个月，觉得自己还不够“老练”，与顾客和求职者沟通时没有技巧和“熟度”，所以很多时候都被他们呼来唤去，象傀儡般地被操控。。所以便决定离开。
第二份工作是6个月的合约项目。当年Disney 在新加坡有维持3个月的大型演出兼佳年华会 Disneyfest SIngapore。我在里头被雇为Admin assistant to Director。衔头不错，因为有Director撑腰，大家都要给面子。但是行政工作却是呆板。老板是个大好人，对我没什么要求。大多数时候是去机场接老外（从美国、澳州等国家来的）、安排他们的住宿与交通，帮助他们申请工作证等。。还有一些琐碎的行政工作。。。
记得6个月约满后，老板有邀请我与团队一起到台湾去（他们演出的下一站）。但是我告诉他，若我还是要作同样的行政东西，那我不去了。。。哈，我在想，我若当年跟去了，结果会如何呢？可能会正式进入Disney公司 （我假期打工期间也在Disney工作过罗），或可能嫁给其中一个老外。。。（我有个跟去的同事就是这样）
之后，我进入金融公司当“讨债鬼” (credit executive)。当中遇见几个好同事，现今仍联络。只是讨债生活叫我“看透红尘”！哈哈哈。。。厌倦了commercial的一切，想要转去做些与教会有关联的事务。
当时，教会属下的学生中心正需要老师。老实说，当时的我很讨厌小孩，因此我从没有想过要进入这个行业。但是，由于我目的是要做教会的事务，所以便答应了。一做就是4 年的时间！在当中，我学到好多好多。。。这份工作是给我最大满足感的工作！ :) 之后由于一些变化，我转到教会做行政人员。
在进入教会学生中心工作之前，我的开销很大。每周都会至少看一部电影，吃一顿大餐。每两到三个月就会上理发院给头发“进补”（难怪某某先生说我的头发迷人！哈！现在$有限，整个头好象“夏枯草”一样！！若他真的当年是因我的头发着迷，他现在一定很后悔！）
当年的理想、志愿，与现在的一切远远不及！我现在还是需要看人的脸色花钱！！！ 唉！！！！大大的唉哉呀！！！！一天工作待命24小时，即使是想出外偷闲也只能去不超过3个钟头，除非我把“任务”带在身边，我才可能去和“猪朋狗友”鬼混鬼混！头发嘛，剪短了，因天气和忙碌关系。同时也好看过一头长长的“夏枯草”。最多每一、两个月理一次头发，每次$12。
现在不要说给父母什么回馈，父母还要“倒贴”钱为我买食物做月子（我们要还但他们不肯收），我难得回娘家时，父亲还会塞钱给我搭德士回家。前阵子，父亲还说要订羊奶给勇齐喝，我实在不敢接受。。。
我觉得自己的的理想是多么的风光荣耀，但现实中，我最终走的路却是如此“卑微”的。昨天晚上我回想为什么会这样，是什么使得自己放下了起初的目标？若今天我把孩子们“丢”进托儿中心，自己出去工作赚钱，有了自己的钱，就可以让随己意让孩子们学钢琴、参加图工班，买玩具给孩子，带他们去玩、去吃，孩子们和丈夫会不会更开心呢？还是他们会宁可妈妈在家里陪伴他们呢？
我想，人活着不是为了吃喝玩乐。我在意我的孩子将来的救恩。我曾说过我的孩子是我的门徒，我要亲自带领他们，教导他们人生的一切。我想这就是我选择这道路的原因吧！我选择今天花钱时看人的脸色，因为我不愿在当我们老时，我们需要看孩子们的脸色。不禁让我联想，现今这么多人指责孩子们把老父母送进养老院，但为什么人们却不觉得父母将孩子们放在托儿中心有问题呢？其实，它们的运作大概相似，让外人看管自己的至亲，不是吗？
每回拿钱时，都会觉得非常“委屈”。因为每次都会有被“威胁”的感觉，印象是要拿他们的钱就得要听他们的话。而且每次花钱就会想到妈妈常提醒的话“赚钱不易，不要乱花钱！”我心里总是渴望自己能够快些出来工作赚钱，这样就无需向父母拿钱了。。。
还记得当年的我充满抱负。希望自己将来在事业上要有所成就，赚大钱，可以买公寓给妈妈，给妈妈很多零用钱，请嬷嬷去馆子吃饭，买车代步，载送嬷嬷和妈妈去兜风,买很多玩具给堂弟妹们。。。我也想把自己打扮得漂漂亮亮，不要结婚，不要被捆锁，享受自由的生活。。。
十五岁那年，通过亲戚的介绍，我到乌节路的一件饮食店作侍应生。每天都要开工，每天作十个钟头，一个月大概赚取$600。所以算起来，整个年底假期，我一共赚了$900! 哇，当时候的我觉得这数目是大的罗！
$900，扣除了自己的交通费用后，我请了嬷嬷和姑妈到肥仔荣海鲜馆子吃饭，买了玩具给我的堂弟妹玩，为我的一位自小被欺压虐待，没穿过新衣服的表哥梳妆一番。我带他去剪头发、买新衣裤和腰带，还有新皮鞋。他当时好开心喔！见到他开心，我也感到满足。:) 当然，我也把部分钱花在自己身上，其余的存入银行。
理工学院毕业后，我终于可以花自己赚的钱了。可惜，当时嬷嬷已经离开了。。这是我的遗憾！ :(
出来的第一份工作是Personnel consultant. 原本是到该agency找工作，没想到却被他们recruit加入他们。在这间公司作了大概3个月，觉得自己还不够“老练”，与顾客和求职者沟通时没有技巧和“熟度”，所以很多时候都被他们呼来唤去，象傀儡般地被操控。。所以便决定离开。
第二份工作是6个月的合约项目。当年Disney 在新加坡有维持3个月的大型演出兼佳年华会 Disneyfest SIngapore。我在里头被雇为Admin assistant to Director。衔头不错，因为有Director撑腰，大家都要给面子。但是行政工作却是呆板。老板是个大好人，对我没什么要求。大多数时候是去机场接老外（从美国、澳州等国家来的）、安排他们的住宿与交通，帮助他们申请工作证等。。还有一些琐碎的行政工作。。。
记得6个月约满后，老板有邀请我与团队一起到台湾去（他们演出的下一站）。但是我告诉他，若我还是要作同样的行政东西，那我不去了。。。哈，我在想，我若当年跟去了，结果会如何呢？可能会正式进入Disney公司 （我假期打工期间也在Disney工作过罗），或可能嫁给其中一个老外。。。（我有个跟去的同事就是这样）
之后，我进入金融公司当“讨债鬼” (credit executive)。当中遇见几个好同事，现今仍联络。只是讨债生活叫我“看透红尘”！哈哈哈。。。厌倦了commercial的一切，想要转去做些与教会有关联的事务。
当时，教会属下的学生中心正需要老师。老实说，当时的我很讨厌小孩，因此我从没有想过要进入这个行业。但是，由于我目的是要做教会的事务，所以便答应了。一做就是4 年的时间！在当中，我学到好多好多。。。这份工作是给我最大满足感的工作！ :) 之后由于一些变化，我转到教会做行政人员。
在进入教会学生中心工作之前，我的开销很大。每周都会至少看一部电影，吃一顿大餐。每两到三个月就会上理发院给头发“进补”（难怪某某先生说我的头发迷人！哈！现在$有限，整个头好象“夏枯草”一样！！若他真的当年是因我的头发着迷，他现在一定很后悔！）
当年的理想、志愿，与现在的一切远远不及！我现在还是需要看人的脸色花钱！！！ 唉！！！！大大的唉哉呀！！！！一天工作待命24小时，即使是想出外偷闲也只能去不超过3个钟头，除非我把“任务”带在身边，我才可能去和“猪朋狗友”鬼混鬼混！头发嘛，剪短了，因天气和忙碌关系。同时也好看过一头长长的“夏枯草”。最多每一、两个月理一次头发，每次$12。
现在不要说给父母什么回馈，父母还要“倒贴”钱为我买食物做月子（我们要还但他们不肯收），我难得回娘家时，父亲还会塞钱给我搭德士回家。前阵子，父亲还说要订羊奶给勇齐喝，我实在不敢接受。。。
我觉得自己的的理想是多么的风光荣耀，但现实中，我最终走的路却是如此“卑微”的。昨天晚上我回想为什么会这样，是什么使得自己放下了起初的目标？若今天我把孩子们“丢”进托儿中心，自己出去工作赚钱，有了自己的钱，就可以让随己意让孩子们学钢琴、参加图工班，买玩具给孩子，带他们去玩、去吃，孩子们和丈夫会不会更开心呢？还是他们会宁可妈妈在家里陪伴他们呢？
我想，人活着不是为了吃喝玩乐。我在意我的孩子将来的救恩。我曾说过我的孩子是我的门徒，我要亲自带领他们，教导他们人生的一切。我想这就是我选择这道路的原因吧！我选择今天花钱时看人的脸色，因为我不愿在当我们老时，我们需要看孩子们的脸色。不禁让我联想，现今这么多人指责孩子们把老父母送进养老院，但为什么人们却不觉得父母将孩子们放在托儿中心有问题呢？其实，它们的运作大概相似，让外人看管自己的至亲，不是吗？
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Pets
hasnt blogged for almost a month... kekeke... paiseh! sorry to my faithful readers... was quite busy then... those who added me in their facebook would know that my son Yongqi was not well for a week. he had run high fever and my hubby and i (me esp) were super stressed! But thank God, he is well and healthy now... and his nonsense proves that he has regained all his “元气”! kekeke...
other than that, i have now two more babies to take care. my dad in law bought my yongen two lil hamsters... and attend to them become part of my motherhood task, of cuz, not forgetting to remind yongen they are her pets thus she needs to participate in all cleaning and maintanence job.
i was rather reluctant, in fact full of complain, when my father in law (FIL) brought home the two hamsters. i was thinking i am already busy enough with my three children and now i have two more to take care.. and i think there are more reasons hiding in me which i didnt know till now...
i was ( or maybe 'am') animals lover. i remember when i was young, i would go around confronting those who were cruel towards their pets or stray animals. when i was about seven or eight yrs old, i saw a bigger than me boy tugging a dog with a straw string tied to its neck. the poor fellow was growning in pain.. but the boy found it amusing with its cries... i was very pissed then... i ran to that boy, held up the doggy, pull and break the string, turned and walked away with the pup in my arm. the boy was shocked! he chased after me and shouted at me, wanted me to return his dog... after much confrontation, i wanted him to promise not to hurt the dog anymore, then handed him the dog... that boy at that moment was already in tears... he must be thinking, "who is this crazy girl...."
there was another time, there was an injured birdie at my school canteen.. the boys were surrounding it and saying what they would want to do with it... obviously what they said sounded unfriendly to me... thus i confronted them, picked up the birdie and walked away... i remember i handed the birdie to a pet shop keeper and requested him to take good care of it, as i had experienced birdie died under my care within one day... (kekeke)
also, whenever i saw cats or kittens near the road, i would always make sure i carried them to somewhere safe, at least not a place near busy traffic... and i have learnt not to play with cats at the bus stop cuz i thought it would be dangerous if they were to follow me when i board the bus...
i really loved animals! when i was young, i always browse books about animals. But i stopped doing so after one of my uncle told me i should read more enid blyton storybook instead of all these animal books... however, i hardly complete few story books then.. i dun really like to read friction stuff...
once my mum asked me what i wanna be when i grow up. i told her i wanna be a vet. i think to her, a vet is rather borliao thing (well, who knows now a vet earns more than a GP?!?!) thus to discourage me, she said in future the vet's job was to examine the cow and pig etc to see if they are well enough to be slaughtered... wow, she really hit the nail, upon hearing that, i gave up the idea to be a vet. cuz the task she described is the last thing i ever want to do in my entire life!!!
i also liked to keep animals when i was young. i had kept two dogs ( one of it was a dashund, which after nine months with me, eloped with a bitch and that made me cried for almost a year; the other one was a pug bitch, which was i think not well when given to us cuz it was very smelly and my mum couldnt stand it thus we sent it away within a month)...
then i had rabbit. my mum bought it for me after my constant pleading!!! (guess thats what my en did for her pet rabbit and hamsters.. Oh, she has a pet rabbit too at grandma's place) i loved it very much! we kept it in a fish tank... and one morning it died and i remembered i mourned like what till my mum couldnt tahan, she buried the body with me and even burnt joss stick and the 'kim jua' for it... kekeke... she wanted to console me la...
oh before that i oso had hamsters, white mice... oh ya, about 100 white mice! kekeke... my cousin and i kept them in a cupboard box at my granny place (my granny was very scared of mice) and i remembered once when we were watching tv at very late night, we saw one mouse, two, then three, running one by one across the room... and that night we ended up catching and hunting for each and everyone of them, and headcount to ensure we missed not a single of them! kekeke... it was fun!
so many animals i had encountered, i had loved and was hurt due to their death and loss... from then, my mum told me not to keep any cuz she didnt want to see me got hurt when i lost them... and myself also decided too not to keep any animals then and i have learnt to retrieve my love for animals too... so that i wont be hurt.
en's first pair of pets were a pair of terrapins that i bought for her. i thought they were supposed to be the toughest of all animals.. yet they still died! :( i was quite sad when the first one left... then i started to hardened my heart.. when the second one left, i felt almost nothing.
to me fish and terrapins are different from furry warm blooded animals. the later ones tend to engage me more... thus i did not want to keep any warm blooded animals until my FIL bought in the two hamsters.
at first, i tried to hold back my feeling twds these two fellows. until they started to fight and i realised the female has bitten the male one quite badly and everynight the squeaking for help made me frustrated... i suggested my hubby to seperate them but he said no need as he in fact dislike them wanted them to 'go' quickly. but i juz cant bear to see that.. and thank God, my cousin gave me another cage and i seperated the two immediately... at that time the male one was so badly hurt that it had bled le... when i seperated it, the male one was like looking at me and saying 'thank you!' and then it went to a corner and sleep soundly.... in my heart i was thinking, it had been few nights that it hadnt sleep so peacefully le...
now i enjoy sitting by the cage, look at them their behaviours and feed them their favourite carrot. and other then shopping for my children, i also like to shop for toys and snack and stuff for the hamsters!!! i am so crazy into it now.... (haha... think my hubby foresee that thus he so scare to keep them! kekeke...)
well, having these two lil things is quite fun actually. and by changing the cage and playing with them, my bonding with yongen actually grows stronger... looking at her, i see myself when i was young. juz hope that she is able to cope withthe loss better than i do when the day comes...
other than that, i have now two more babies to take care. my dad in law bought my yongen two lil hamsters... and attend to them become part of my motherhood task, of cuz, not forgetting to remind yongen they are her pets thus she needs to participate in all cleaning and maintanence job.
i was rather reluctant, in fact full of complain, when my father in law (FIL) brought home the two hamsters. i was thinking i am already busy enough with my three children and now i have two more to take care.. and i think there are more reasons hiding in me which i didnt know till now...
i was ( or maybe 'am') animals lover. i remember when i was young, i would go around confronting those who were cruel towards their pets or stray animals. when i was about seven or eight yrs old, i saw a bigger than me boy tugging a dog with a straw string tied to its neck. the poor fellow was growning in pain.. but the boy found it amusing with its cries... i was very pissed then... i ran to that boy, held up the doggy, pull and break the string, turned and walked away with the pup in my arm. the boy was shocked! he chased after me and shouted at me, wanted me to return his dog... after much confrontation, i wanted him to promise not to hurt the dog anymore, then handed him the dog... that boy at that moment was already in tears... he must be thinking, "who is this crazy girl...."
there was another time, there was an injured birdie at my school canteen.. the boys were surrounding it and saying what they would want to do with it... obviously what they said sounded unfriendly to me... thus i confronted them, picked up the birdie and walked away... i remember i handed the birdie to a pet shop keeper and requested him to take good care of it, as i had experienced birdie died under my care within one day... (kekeke)
also, whenever i saw cats or kittens near the road, i would always make sure i carried them to somewhere safe, at least not a place near busy traffic... and i have learnt not to play with cats at the bus stop cuz i thought it would be dangerous if they were to follow me when i board the bus...
i really loved animals! when i was young, i always browse books about animals. But i stopped doing so after one of my uncle told me i should read more enid blyton storybook instead of all these animal books... however, i hardly complete few story books then.. i dun really like to read friction stuff...
once my mum asked me what i wanna be when i grow up. i told her i wanna be a vet. i think to her, a vet is rather borliao thing (well, who knows now a vet earns more than a GP?!?!) thus to discourage me, she said in future the vet's job was to examine the cow and pig etc to see if they are well enough to be slaughtered... wow, she really hit the nail, upon hearing that, i gave up the idea to be a vet. cuz the task she described is the last thing i ever want to do in my entire life!!!
i also liked to keep animals when i was young. i had kept two dogs ( one of it was a dashund, which after nine months with me, eloped with a bitch and that made me cried for almost a year; the other one was a pug bitch, which was i think not well when given to us cuz it was very smelly and my mum couldnt stand it thus we sent it away within a month)...
then i had rabbit. my mum bought it for me after my constant pleading!!! (guess thats what my en did for her pet rabbit and hamsters.. Oh, she has a pet rabbit too at grandma's place) i loved it very much! we kept it in a fish tank... and one morning it died and i remembered i mourned like what till my mum couldnt tahan, she buried the body with me and even burnt joss stick and the 'kim jua' for it... kekeke... she wanted to console me la...
oh before that i oso had hamsters, white mice... oh ya, about 100 white mice! kekeke... my cousin and i kept them in a cupboard box at my granny place (my granny was very scared of mice) and i remembered once when we were watching tv at very late night, we saw one mouse, two, then three, running one by one across the room... and that night we ended up catching and hunting for each and everyone of them, and headcount to ensure we missed not a single of them! kekeke... it was fun!
so many animals i had encountered, i had loved and was hurt due to their death and loss... from then, my mum told me not to keep any cuz she didnt want to see me got hurt when i lost them... and myself also decided too not to keep any animals then and i have learnt to retrieve my love for animals too... so that i wont be hurt.
en's first pair of pets were a pair of terrapins that i bought for her. i thought they were supposed to be the toughest of all animals.. yet they still died! :( i was quite sad when the first one left... then i started to hardened my heart.. when the second one left, i felt almost nothing.
to me fish and terrapins are different from furry warm blooded animals. the later ones tend to engage me more... thus i did not want to keep any warm blooded animals until my FIL bought in the two hamsters.
at first, i tried to hold back my feeling twds these two fellows. until they started to fight and i realised the female has bitten the male one quite badly and everynight the squeaking for help made me frustrated... i suggested my hubby to seperate them but he said no need as he in fact dislike them wanted them to 'go' quickly. but i juz cant bear to see that.. and thank God, my cousin gave me another cage and i seperated the two immediately... at that time the male one was so badly hurt that it had bled le... when i seperated it, the male one was like looking at me and saying 'thank you!' and then it went to a corner and sleep soundly.... in my heart i was thinking, it had been few nights that it hadnt sleep so peacefully le...
now i enjoy sitting by the cage, look at them their behaviours and feed them their favourite carrot. and other then shopping for my children, i also like to shop for toys and snack and stuff for the hamsters!!! i am so crazy into it now.... (haha... think my hubby foresee that thus he so scare to keep them! kekeke...)
well, having these two lil things is quite fun actually. and by changing the cage and playing with them, my bonding with yongen actually grows stronger... looking at her, i see myself when i was young. juz hope that she is able to cope withthe loss better than i do when the day comes...
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The pregnancy game
someone who is very close with me is pregnant! woohoo~~ i am so happy for her!
her pregnancy makes me 'itchy' again! kekeke... ya, itch to get pregnant....
i super like to get pregnant. I love the feeling of carrying a life in my womb, feel its every movement... i love the waiting moments at the hospital to meet my newborn and i like confinement food. definitely, i love to cuddle my cutie oso! :)
many who know me call me 'pervert' cuz i tell them i love to go thru labor.. labor to me is 'easy pizzy lemon squeezy' (en teach me this... kekeke) .
during yongen's time, i was scheduled to do induce labour on 40th weeks 2nd days. However, on the 40th weeks 1st day 5am, my water bag broke. i still remember i was so happy and excited, i washed my hair and bathed, got to the coffeeshop to eat my kuay teow soup, then my hubby and i took a cab to the hospital. in the cab, my hubby was busy wiping the water that came from my water bag.. (oops, so sorry mr taxi driver for dirtying your cab...) when we reached the hospital, i was put on drip at about 9am. after about four hours of waiting, the doc arrived and got me ready for delivery. seriously, i felt no pain at all. Thus, i dun have any urge to push lor... i did feel backache thou... doc asked me to push... i did. but still it was not coming out... after some pushing, the hair of baby finally was seen... but then, there wasnt any improvement after that... therefore the doc decided to use vacum. first time, the vacum fell off... second time, the vacum worked. and i was told i had 3rd degree tear... due to big baby... sometimes near 2pm, yongen arrived! she weighed 3.915kg... think she was the biggest one in the nursery at that time. can u imagine i put on total of 23kg during the pregnancy? so heavy!
after 13 months, i conceived Yongqi. this fellow, like his sister, is a full term fellow... (gestation more than 38 weeks is considered full term baby le) due to dw's working schedule, we scheduled yongqi to be induced on the 39th week 5th day gestation. early in the morning that day, i woke up around same time as yongen's time, did the same ritual as yongen's time... then head to the hospital with dw. same thing, 9am put on the drip, around 1.30pm, the contraction came. this time i did feel the contraction... which is good cuz it gave me urge to push. true enough, 3 pushes, out came yongqi. swee swee... 3.975kg. 60g heavier than his sister. i onli put on 15kg for this pregnancy.
2008 sep, i conceived without knowing... but after 9 weeks, i was told that the foetus did not grow and its heartbeat had stopped at week 6. thus, i went thru a d&c to remove the tissue. it was a heartbreaking experience for me... if that pregnancy was successful, it would be our annivesary gift as our wedding anniversary falls on 28th june and its EDD was 26 June 09.
God is faithful. After the miscarriage, i prayed hard for another baby. dw, for the first time, desired for another baby too (during en and qi time, dw was happy but not so much of desire and anticipation ). in july 09, i conceived yongjie. my pregnancy with yongjie was a totally different experience. for the first two, i was a grumpy expecting mum... but for yongjie's case, i was bubbly and cheerful. i had joy in me.
yongjie is also a full term fellow. also due to dw's work schedule, we decided to induce yongjie on the 39th week 3rd day of gestation. same thing happened that morning except this time i admitted the hospital by myself. dw needed to teach that day. we planned it this way cuz at that time my doc said yongjie was still not low enough thus could not break the waterbag manually. they needed to insert a special capsule in me to made the baby come down and also kick off the dilation. and the capsule needed 6 hours to take effect. so the capsule was inserted at 7am. 1pm they put me on drip. by then dw had finished his teaching and arrived hospital. at about 4.20pm, tan yongjie arrived. weighing 4.015kg (kekeke). and guess what? though he is the heaviest, i only put on total pregnancy weight of 11kg this time... :)
for me, giving birth is like hen lays eggs... and i really enjoy it lor... however, not all people around me encourage me to get pregnant again... most importantly, my manufacturing partner, ie. my hubby, decided that we shall stop at 3....
its ok. i shall enjoy my 3 precious children, accompany them, participate in their childhood days, let me stay in their childhood memories... :)
her pregnancy makes me 'itchy' again! kekeke... ya, itch to get pregnant....
i super like to get pregnant. I love the feeling of carrying a life in my womb, feel its every movement... i love the waiting moments at the hospital to meet my newborn and i like confinement food. definitely, i love to cuddle my cutie oso! :)
many who know me call me 'pervert' cuz i tell them i love to go thru labor.. labor to me is 'easy pizzy lemon squeezy' (en teach me this... kekeke) .
during yongen's time, i was scheduled to do induce labour on 40th weeks 2nd days. However, on the 40th weeks 1st day 5am, my water bag broke. i still remember i was so happy and excited, i washed my hair and bathed, got to the coffeeshop to eat my kuay teow soup, then my hubby and i took a cab to the hospital. in the cab, my hubby was busy wiping the water that came from my water bag.. (oops, so sorry mr taxi driver for dirtying your cab...) when we reached the hospital, i was put on drip at about 9am. after about four hours of waiting, the doc arrived and got me ready for delivery. seriously, i felt no pain at all. Thus, i dun have any urge to push lor... i did feel backache thou... doc asked me to push... i did. but still it was not coming out... after some pushing, the hair of baby finally was seen... but then, there wasnt any improvement after that... therefore the doc decided to use vacum. first time, the vacum fell off... second time, the vacum worked. and i was told i had 3rd degree tear... due to big baby... sometimes near 2pm, yongen arrived! she weighed 3.915kg... think she was the biggest one in the nursery at that time. can u imagine i put on total of 23kg during the pregnancy? so heavy!
after 13 months, i conceived Yongqi. this fellow, like his sister, is a full term fellow... (gestation more than 38 weeks is considered full term baby le) due to dw's working schedule, we scheduled yongqi to be induced on the 39th week 5th day gestation. early in the morning that day, i woke up around same time as yongen's time, did the same ritual as yongen's time... then head to the hospital with dw. same thing, 9am put on the drip, around 1.30pm, the contraction came. this time i did feel the contraction... which is good cuz it gave me urge to push. true enough, 3 pushes, out came yongqi. swee swee... 3.975kg. 60g heavier than his sister. i onli put on 15kg for this pregnancy.
2008 sep, i conceived without knowing... but after 9 weeks, i was told that the foetus did not grow and its heartbeat had stopped at week 6. thus, i went thru a d&c to remove the tissue. it was a heartbreaking experience for me... if that pregnancy was successful, it would be our annivesary gift as our wedding anniversary falls on 28th june and its EDD was 26 June 09.
God is faithful. After the miscarriage, i prayed hard for another baby. dw, for the first time, desired for another baby too (during en and qi time, dw was happy but not so much of desire and anticipation ). in july 09, i conceived yongjie. my pregnancy with yongjie was a totally different experience. for the first two, i was a grumpy expecting mum... but for yongjie's case, i was bubbly and cheerful. i had joy in me.
yongjie is also a full term fellow. also due to dw's work schedule, we decided to induce yongjie on the 39th week 3rd day of gestation. same thing happened that morning except this time i admitted the hospital by myself. dw needed to teach that day. we planned it this way cuz at that time my doc said yongjie was still not low enough thus could not break the waterbag manually. they needed to insert a special capsule in me to made the baby come down and also kick off the dilation. and the capsule needed 6 hours to take effect. so the capsule was inserted at 7am. 1pm they put me on drip. by then dw had finished his teaching and arrived hospital. at about 4.20pm, tan yongjie arrived. weighing 4.015kg (kekeke). and guess what? though he is the heaviest, i only put on total pregnancy weight of 11kg this time... :)
for me, giving birth is like hen lays eggs... and i really enjoy it lor... however, not all people around me encourage me to get pregnant again... most importantly, my manufacturing partner, ie. my hubby, decided that we shall stop at 3....
its ok. i shall enjoy my 3 precious children, accompany them, participate in their childhood days, let me stay in their childhood memories... :)
Our children, our future... is our responsibility....
woohoo... i simply love to see my friends leave messages in my cbox... i feel motivated and encouraged to blog more...
my yongjie is 15 weeks old le... he is sooo cute especially with his new 'hair style'.
i feel that he looks like young yongqi... both botak with rounded face.. very adorable!!! below are yongjie and yongqi botak pics...
recently i have been surfing youtube to watch videos on fetus development, abortion and babies who are born with damages... i really feel that every single healthy child is God's miracle and grace... they are all precious and deserved to be loved and protected!
i feel so angry when i see videos on abortion. they labelled the video as 'silent scream'. expert said that the fetus can actually feel the pain when it is being forcefully sucked out of the mum's womb. one ultrasound even shows that the fetus' mouth was opened when the sucking tube was inserted to suck it out.. it is believed that the fetus was screaming in pain!
en came near me when i was watching 'silent scream'. she asked me what is the clip about so i explained to her. i said that some irresponsible women did not protect themselves, slept around with guys and got themselves pregnant. as they were not married, they decided to kill their own babies. then i went on lecturing her that one is only allowed to sleep with the guy whom one is married to. we should only sleep with that man after we got married to him. we should only get ourselves pregnant after we are married.
well, i guess that is the simple version of sex and moral education... i remember last time my mum used to lecture me in this area too. she used to warn me not to let any guy touch my body. she also taught me to protect my chest and body in crowded area... many of my friends ever told me that my this concept is already out dated... i should not be so 'lao gu dong'... as the younger generation nowadays are more opened and mature than my generation. the world around us has changed. the younger generation should change with the world and not stay at my time...
yes i do agree that the world has changed... but not all changes are 'to be better' changes! most changes are deteriorating! especially in the aspects of value, fillial piety, morale... the media has so much influence on the younger generation. if parents fail to explain to their children what have happened around us, the media will do.. and it will be according to the media's values... and what is the media's value? a very gd example is the advertisment of 'eclipse'. a pc of refreshing candy, then eclipse took place and the woman started kissing a stranger on his lip... RUBBISH! TRASH! i criticised this adv in front of my kids whenever we see it on tv...
of course there are also good advertisment like macdonald's '$4.50 lunch on weekend' whereby the army guy treated his family lunch at macdonald...but if without an adult's hi-lighting, i think teens only got the message of cheap EVM at macdonald also available on weekend lunch, who would notice the pleasing look on the daddy's face and got 'inspired' to buy parents a meal or two (although teens have not much money, like that army guy)?
what i am trying to say is that we as parents, should spend times to impart our values, morale and belief to our children. Never ever allow others, especially the media, to do that on our behalf!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Why chinese should not have Christrian name...
hmm... was spring cleaning my email inbox.. then come across this mail that was sent by one of my church 'pig fri dog end'... it is still so funny when i read it again...
Following is the content of the mail:
Confusing Chinese Names
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.
Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgen t matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).
Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!
======================================================
This is hilarious ...
Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:
Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Carl Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)
Monica Cheng => Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
Suzie Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)
Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)
kekeke... guess thats why my boss does not like to name my kids any Christian names. kekeke...
Following is the content of the mail:
Confusing Chinese Names
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.
Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgen t matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).
Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!
======================================================
This is hilarious ...
Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:
Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Carl Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)
Monica Cheng => Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
Suzie Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)
Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)
kekeke... guess thats why my boss does not like to name my kids any Christian names. kekeke...
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
MORNING WAR
A war took place at my home this morning.
As i lowered my hp volume last night, this morning its alarm was only loud enough for waking ants.. yes.. ANTS!! so soft lor... that i didnt hear it...
ya, i missed the wake up alarm! i am suppose to wake up at 7.08am (odd time huh? 2 min grace is for me to laze and stretch la...) but i did not... then yongjie started go 'kek kek kek' (its not the kekeke laugh that we use to kno... the kek kek kek is the sound he makes to tell me 'MILK TIME!') then i woke up! SHIT! it was already 7.25am lor!!! the school bus will be fetching the kids at 7.40am!!! i jumped up, calling loud to wake the kids... En was beside me (she sneaked into my bed after daddy went to work), so she could feel the urgency.. without delay, her engine started, which is GOOD!!!
next thing, i dashed into the kids room to wake yongqi... waking up yongqi normally is a simple task... juz play with him, tickle him... then his engine will be started.. but not today!! i was sooooo gan jiong... i pulled his leg and shook his body, calling out loudly to ask him to wake up...
at this time, the kek kek kek of yongjie had turned to waaaa waaa waa (cry liao lor).... so bor bian, i dashed back to my room, picked him up and ran back to qi... he still kun-ing lor!!! walau!!! i was soooo.... i threatened that i was getting the cane le... then he started to whine and dragged himself out of the bed... i thought he went to brush his teeth.. bor lor... he sat at the living room with his drooping eyes... i was soooo anxious... i shouted at him again and this time he shouted back '我不要刷牙！' wah... seriously, i was not in the mood for such nonsense... straight away i lifted the cane and PIA~~~ ane he started to yell!!!!!
finally he dragged himself to the toilet... still stood there and show me his angry face with both hand on waist lor!!! WAAAAAA~~~~~~~ i .... 忍～～～～～ (at this time yongjie alr buay tahan liao... he started to cry again as i was loud and he was hungry... so i latched him on... as for en, she alr at the kitchen munching her hotdog bun breakfast) then i threatened qi again "fine, dun brush your teeth... DUN BRUSH!!!! ( to deal with yongqi, you muz also sing 反调to poke him...)let the bus aunty and the children see how dirty you r... later i will juz pushed you out of the door when the sch bus come!" (this is the 老调that i always use on yongen... and it works for yongqi!!!) so with the 老调+反调, yongqi finally admit 输掉！kekeke.. i won!
then i asked en to put down her bun to change first... i was still latching yongjie this time.. so i couldnt really move alot... therefore i requested yongen to help dress yongqi. and she did.. nice job (though slow) done! thumb up for en! after then she dressed herself... i was feeling relieved that en was able to help me... but at this point, i suddenly heard a "BOM" sound! shit! i kno what it was... it was the bus aunty slamming the bus (actually a sch van) door.... meaning, the sch bus arrived and the aunty was coming up for them!!! (aunty is very kind. she knows that the kids will go down by themselves so when she does not see the kids when reaches our place, she will normally go to the staircase, or even to our door step to fetch them) thus once again i got tensed up le... i quickly unlatched jie (leave him to cry again), opened the door for aunty and got the kids to wear their shoes... aunty helped yongqi to wear socks and shoes... then she brought both them to the bus...
PHEW!!! war finally ended... but due to the shock, yongjie was unwilling to let go of me... thus i allowed him to suckle to sleep...
really hope that such thing will not happen again... though this morning was tough, i am very touched and pleased with yongen's help... no doubt she can be very irritating sometimes, she can be a good girl and helper too... and thanks to yongjie, who woke me up... my poor yongqi, until he left for school, i was still unable to hug him and sayang him... he was still in sleepy mode lor... haiz... later hug him more when he return....
I thank God for my precious cute children! :))
As i lowered my hp volume last night, this morning its alarm was only loud enough for waking ants.. yes.. ANTS!! so soft lor... that i didnt hear it...
ya, i missed the wake up alarm! i am suppose to wake up at 7.08am (odd time huh? 2 min grace is for me to laze and stretch la...) but i did not... then yongjie started go 'kek kek kek' (its not the kekeke laugh that we use to kno... the kek kek kek is the sound he makes to tell me 'MILK TIME!') then i woke up! SHIT! it was already 7.25am lor!!! the school bus will be fetching the kids at 7.40am!!! i jumped up, calling loud to wake the kids... En was beside me (she sneaked into my bed after daddy went to work), so she could feel the urgency.. without delay, her engine started, which is GOOD!!!
next thing, i dashed into the kids room to wake yongqi... waking up yongqi normally is a simple task... juz play with him, tickle him... then his engine will be started.. but not today!! i was sooooo gan jiong... i pulled his leg and shook his body, calling out loudly to ask him to wake up...
at this time, the kek kek kek of yongjie had turned to waaaa waaa waa (cry liao lor).... so bor bian, i dashed back to my room, picked him up and ran back to qi... he still kun-ing lor!!! walau!!! i was soooo.... i threatened that i was getting the cane le... then he started to whine and dragged himself out of the bed... i thought he went to brush his teeth.. bor lor... he sat at the living room with his drooping eyes... i was soooo anxious... i shouted at him again and this time he shouted back '我不要刷牙！' wah... seriously, i was not in the mood for such nonsense... straight away i lifted the cane and PIA~~~ ane he started to yell!!!!!
finally he dragged himself to the toilet... still stood there and show me his angry face with both hand on waist lor!!! WAAAAAA~~~~~~~ i .... 忍～～～～～ (at this time yongjie alr buay tahan liao... he started to cry again as i was loud and he was hungry... so i latched him on... as for en, she alr at the kitchen munching her hotdog bun breakfast) then i threatened qi again "fine, dun brush your teeth... DUN BRUSH!!!! ( to deal with yongqi, you muz also sing 反调to poke him...)let the bus aunty and the children see how dirty you r... later i will juz pushed you out of the door when the sch bus come!" (this is the 老调that i always use on yongen... and it works for yongqi!!!) so with the 老调+反调, yongqi finally admit 输掉！kekeke.. i won!
then i asked en to put down her bun to change first... i was still latching yongjie this time.. so i couldnt really move alot... therefore i requested yongen to help dress yongqi. and she did.. nice job (though slow) done! thumb up for en! after then she dressed herself... i was feeling relieved that en was able to help me... but at this point, i suddenly heard a "BOM" sound! shit! i kno what it was... it was the bus aunty slamming the bus (actually a sch van) door.... meaning, the sch bus arrived and the aunty was coming up for them!!! (aunty is very kind. she knows that the kids will go down by themselves so when she does not see the kids when reaches our place, she will normally go to the staircase, or even to our door step to fetch them) thus once again i got tensed up le... i quickly unlatched jie (leave him to cry again), opened the door for aunty and got the kids to wear their shoes... aunty helped yongqi to wear socks and shoes... then she brought both them to the bus...
PHEW!!! war finally ended... but due to the shock, yongjie was unwilling to let go of me... thus i allowed him to suckle to sleep...
really hope that such thing will not happen again... though this morning was tough, i am very touched and pleased with yongen's help... no doubt she can be very irritating sometimes, she can be a good girl and helper too... and thanks to yongjie, who woke me up... my poor yongqi, until he left for school, i was still unable to hug him and sayang him... he was still in sleepy mode lor... haiz... later hug him more when he return....
I thank God for my precious cute children! :))
Monday, June 21, 2010
妈妈的虚荣心
hey i change my blog skin... finally... and i like it... it gives me a coool feeeeeling in this hooooot weather period... yay...
am a proud and happy mummy reently... yongjie is sooooooooooo cute and BIG! oh he got a nice 外号， i call him kong bah... kekeke... cute name ya?
aaaahhhhaaa... u muz have noticed my style of talking has changed also... talk younger huh? ya... its june holiday and during this period i have been crazily talking with a young fellow... hey u kno who u r.. hey pumpkin... yes its u... see i mention u here... hey pumpkin...
while i am writing my blog... this pumpkin is bombarding me with sms (at my hubby's phone, cuz he is my hubby's student)... ok la pumpkin... "THANK YOU" for whatever reason u juz wan someone to say that to you... kekeke... lalala~~~
yongjie will be 3 months old in 3 days time... he is a real big guy... he is currently wearing L size diaper and 6 - 12 months clothings... anything that fit below 6 months dun fit him anymore... phew!!!! realli BIG huh?
his birth weight was 4.015kg. at one month old, he was 6.12kg and two months old, he was 8.16kg! i wonder how heavy he would be next week when he needs to go for his 3 months check up...
i always like to bring my children to routine checkup at polyclinic. cuz many people, especially those parents who are carrying similar sized babies, will look at my child. then they will tidak boleh tahan come ask me how old is my child. when i tell them the answer, i will focus on their face cuz their shocking face will give my great sense of satisfaction! not only that, they will then proceed to ask me what brand of formula do i feed my child... then i will proudly announced: full breastfeed! kekeke... this is 妈妈的虚荣心！
that day our whole family went to window shop. at a traffic juction, we met a pair of parents with a 10 months old baby in the pram. the daddy kept looking at yongjie in our pram. then he started asking how old is yongjie. i told him he is 2 half months. he was sooooo shocked! his eyes were popping out and mouth was wide opened! he turned to his wife and said with astonishment, "2 half months! look at his thigh, is so big! bigger than ours! ours is 10 months ley! theirs is 2 half months!!! wow!!!" the mum face was like not very 'song' like that (aiya, if me, i also no song... kekeke... u kno, its a hidden kind of competition among mummies... its there, but unsaid!!! kekeke... winner is soooo obvious everytime... kekeke) then the dad still buay tahan... he let go of his child and move over to our pram... he wanted to take a closer look at yongjie... as he looked he made a 'jio jio jio' kind of sound... the kind of sound one would make when either see something awsome or kena irritated... this case, its obvious 'awsome'! kekeke...
ok... let me make a guess... i think next week when i weigh yongjie, i wont be surprise he hit number around 10kg... ok, i think he is 9.5kg then... kekeke lets see if i am right... this is a humble quote from me though... kekeke... anyone want join in the game? kekeke...
am a proud and happy mummy reently... yongjie is sooooooooooo cute and BIG! oh he got a nice 外号， i call him kong bah... kekeke... cute name ya?
aaaahhhhaaa... u muz have noticed my style of talking has changed also... talk younger huh? ya... its june holiday and during this period i have been crazily talking with a young fellow... hey u kno who u r.. hey pumpkin... yes its u... see i mention u here... hey pumpkin...
while i am writing my blog... this pumpkin is bombarding me with sms (at my hubby's phone, cuz he is my hubby's student)... ok la pumpkin... "THANK YOU" for whatever reason u juz wan someone to say that to you... kekeke... lalala~~~
yongjie will be 3 months old in 3 days time... he is a real big guy... he is currently wearing L size diaper and 6 - 12 months clothings... anything that fit below 6 months dun fit him anymore... phew!!!! realli BIG huh?
his birth weight was 4.015kg. at one month old, he was 6.12kg and two months old, he was 8.16kg! i wonder how heavy he would be next week when he needs to go for his 3 months check up...
i always like to bring my children to routine checkup at polyclinic. cuz many people, especially those parents who are carrying similar sized babies, will look at my child. then they will tidak boleh tahan come ask me how old is my child. when i tell them the answer, i will focus on their face cuz their shocking face will give my great sense of satisfaction! not only that, they will then proceed to ask me what brand of formula do i feed my child... then i will proudly announced: full breastfeed! kekeke... this is 妈妈的虚荣心！
that day our whole family went to window shop. at a traffic juction, we met a pair of parents with a 10 months old baby in the pram. the daddy kept looking at yongjie in our pram. then he started asking how old is yongjie. i told him he is 2 half months. he was sooooo shocked! his eyes were popping out and mouth was wide opened! he turned to his wife and said with astonishment, "2 half months! look at his thigh, is so big! bigger than ours! ours is 10 months ley! theirs is 2 half months!!! wow!!!" the mum face was like not very 'song' like that (aiya, if me, i also no song... kekeke... u kno, its a hidden kind of competition among mummies... its there, but unsaid!!! kekeke... winner is soooo obvious everytime... kekeke) then the dad still buay tahan... he let go of his child and move over to our pram... he wanted to take a closer look at yongjie... as he looked he made a 'jio jio jio' kind of sound... the kind of sound one would make when either see something awsome or kena irritated... this case, its obvious 'awsome'! kekeke...
ok... let me make a guess... i think next week when i weigh yongjie, i wont be surprise he hit number around 10kg... ok, i think he is 9.5kg then... kekeke lets see if i am right... this is a humble quote from me though... kekeke... anyone want join in the game? kekeke...
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
meet the parent session
today the kindergarten conducted a meet the parent session... dw went with us!!!
it was the first time dw visited their school since the kids are officially students of the kindergarten. the first and only time was when we registered for en...
the children and i were very happy to have their daddy with us to the school... really... its sooo difficult to have such opportunity...
yongen's teacher commented that en tends to be a dreamer in class! she tends to do her work very slowly...i am quite shocked to hear that cuz she has been fast worker at home! she also need to correct her writing posture as she always rest her head on the table when she does her work..
as expected, yongqi is one of the favourit boi to his teachers... his form techer commented that he would do something funny in the middle of lesson time in class to make everybody laugh. ha! in another word, clown of the class!!!! hahaha....
the chinese teacher commented that the children are very close to each other... the teacher feels that its so pleasing to see them love each other and their new brother as they keep talking abt yongjie at school. once yongqi punched yongen, the teachers lectured qi that he should not do that but guess what en said... she said,"its ok. though he hit me, i still love him cuz he is my brother!" the teacher said that all teachers were so touched to hear that! based on the progress book and the feedback from the teachers, i guess overall, yongen attain a grade of B+ (or A-) while yongqi has attained a C! that guy! still blur blur yet can give ppl a shock once in a while when he displays his unexpected capabilities...
i feel that its important to meet the teachers although the kids are still so young cuz by doing that, we get to kno how our kids r doing in sch and we also converse to the kids that 'hey, mummy is uodated with what u have done in sch.....
it was the first time dw visited their school since the kids are officially students of the kindergarten. the first and only time was when we registered for en...
the children and i were very happy to have their daddy with us to the school... really... its sooo difficult to have such opportunity...
yongen's teacher commented that en tends to be a dreamer in class! she tends to do her work very slowly...i am quite shocked to hear that cuz she has been fast worker at home! she also need to correct her writing posture as she always rest her head on the table when she does her work..
as expected, yongqi is one of the favourit boi to his teachers... his form techer commented that he would do something funny in the middle of lesson time in class to make everybody laugh. ha! in another word, clown of the class!!!! hahaha....
the chinese teacher commented that the children are very close to each other... the teacher feels that its so pleasing to see them love each other and their new brother as they keep talking abt yongjie at school. once yongqi punched yongen, the teachers lectured qi that he should not do that but guess what en said... she said,"its ok. though he hit me, i still love him cuz he is my brother!" the teacher said that all teachers were so touched to hear that! based on the progress book and the feedback from the teachers, i guess overall, yongen attain a grade of B+ (or A-) while yongqi has attained a C! that guy! still blur blur yet can give ppl a shock once in a while when he displays his unexpected capabilities...
i feel that its important to meet the teachers although the kids are still so young cuz by doing that, we get to kno how our kids r doing in sch and we also converse to the kids that 'hey, mummy is uodated with what u have done in sch.....
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
妈妈的心
勇杰今天满八周！好快！
我喜欢看着勇杰睡觉的样子。好可爱！虽然晚上时段让他搞得晕头转向，甚至有不好的埋怨词句，但是，一看见熟睡时的他，就忍不住要亲吻他的小脸蛋。他真的好可爱！
在看着他熟睡的样子时，我想我应该常常提醒自己，怀里所抱的宝贝，是上帝赐我的恩典啊！真的。每一个孩子顺利的出世，且是平安，且是健康正常的，都是神的恩典！我相信每一个做妈妈的，都知道我在说什么。。。
在怀勇杰的时候，我很担心。因前一次不好的经历，我实在害怕恶梦会重演。当我怀勇杰（其实在怀咏恩和勇齐时也是如此）进入第二孕期时，我又担心孩子是否会正常、健康。。。这样的担心，所有的担心，总是有增无减地折磨我直到我和肚子里的孩子见面为止！
每一次的祷告，我都会不忘为孩子的健康与智慧祷告。每一次提及我的梦想、愿望，我都是希望我的孩子们健康、有智慧且永远蒙住喜悦、保守，永远走在主的道路上。。。
看见许多时下青少年在自己的身上打孔、刺青，在健康上不自我珍惜，与他人殴打、吸烟、嗑毒，我就为他们的父母心痛。我回想我的咏恩和勇齐（尤其咏恩）在出世不久，因黄旦需入院作灯疗时，我不放心，牺牲自己做月应该多休息的需要，到医院陪伴孩子的日子。尤其记得因为当时是第一胎，而且咏恩的黄旦指数非常高，所以自己常常在医院偷偷地哭泣。。
更糟的是，咏恩在两周大时，医生发现她的一条心血管没有完全关闭，所以严格上来说，咏恩是需要长期做心脏检查，直到她动手术将这问题解决为止。这事让我非常心痛和内疚。虽然医生说这事与我无关，但我还是怪自己。。。真的，即使是用自己的生命或健康对换孩子的康复，我什么都愿意。。
妈妈的心就是如此。其实，爸爸的心也是一样疼惜子女，只是他们比较理智（女人比较感性），而且他们都不善于表达爱意，所以常常让孩子们觉得爸爸没有妈妈那样慈爱。或许，有时是爸爸（有些'严肃'的妈妈也是如此）还在学习当中。。怎么说呢？父母职责也是需要学习的呀！只是因为妈妈十月怀胎，所以比爸爸更先一步接触了宝宝，学习了为人母的特性。。。
主啊，求你保守所有的孩子们与父母们，让他们之间有美好的关系，晓得如何沟通。主啊，尤其是当他们步入叛逆期时，求你加倍地保守他们，救他们脱离凶恶，不叫他们遇见试探。谢谢主，奉耶稣的名祷，啊们！
我喜欢看着勇杰睡觉的样子。好可爱！虽然晚上时段让他搞得晕头转向，甚至有不好的埋怨词句，但是，一看见熟睡时的他，就忍不住要亲吻他的小脸蛋。他真的好可爱！
在看着他熟睡的样子时，我想我应该常常提醒自己，怀里所抱的宝贝，是上帝赐我的恩典啊！真的。每一个孩子顺利的出世，且是平安，且是健康正常的，都是神的恩典！我相信每一个做妈妈的，都知道我在说什么。。。
在怀勇杰的时候，我很担心。因前一次不好的经历，我实在害怕恶梦会重演。当我怀勇杰（其实在怀咏恩和勇齐时也是如此）进入第二孕期时，我又担心孩子是否会正常、健康。。。这样的担心，所有的担心，总是有增无减地折磨我直到我和肚子里的孩子见面为止！
每一次的祷告，我都会不忘为孩子的健康与智慧祷告。每一次提及我的梦想、愿望，我都是希望我的孩子们健康、有智慧且永远蒙住喜悦、保守，永远走在主的道路上。。。
看见许多时下青少年在自己的身上打孔、刺青，在健康上不自我珍惜，与他人殴打、吸烟、嗑毒，我就为他们的父母心痛。我回想我的咏恩和勇齐（尤其咏恩）在出世不久，因黄旦需入院作灯疗时，我不放心，牺牲自己做月应该多休息的需要，到医院陪伴孩子的日子。尤其记得因为当时是第一胎，而且咏恩的黄旦指数非常高，所以自己常常在医院偷偷地哭泣。。
更糟的是，咏恩在两周大时，医生发现她的一条心血管没有完全关闭，所以严格上来说，咏恩是需要长期做心脏检查，直到她动手术将这问题解决为止。这事让我非常心痛和内疚。虽然医生说这事与我无关，但我还是怪自己。。。真的，即使是用自己的生命或健康对换孩子的康复，我什么都愿意。。
妈妈的心就是如此。其实，爸爸的心也是一样疼惜子女，只是他们比较理智（女人比较感性），而且他们都不善于表达爱意，所以常常让孩子们觉得爸爸没有妈妈那样慈爱。或许，有时是爸爸（有些'严肃'的妈妈也是如此）还在学习当中。。怎么说呢？父母职责也是需要学习的呀！只是因为妈妈十月怀胎，所以比爸爸更先一步接触了宝宝，学习了为人母的特性。。。
主啊，求你保守所有的孩子们与父母们，让他们之间有美好的关系，晓得如何沟通。主啊，尤其是当他们步入叛逆期时，求你加倍地保守他们，救他们脱离凶恶，不叫他们遇见试探。谢谢主，奉耶稣的名祷，啊们！
Thursday, April 29, 2010
thinking back...
Yongjie is 5 weeks old today. he is a strong and healthy boy. Thank God!
thinking back, 5 weeks ago i was anticipating the arrival of Yongjie... and i could still remember how hard i pushed this big fellow out of me.. kekeke...
thinking further back... ten yrs ago during this period, i was still wondering whether i will be married off.. kekeke... i was still single then, being left on the shelf, covered with spider web all over me...
i had never dare to dream of my wedding since i always thought i would never get married...to me, having the guy i love to love me as well was a fairy tale to me. and this fairy tale actually happened!and i could still remember how much tears i shed during our church ceremony.. tears of thankfulness and happiness...its was like at the end of all fairy tale, "the prince and the princess live happily everafter..."
well, not quite so, i would say... its just another phrase of life, another learning journey. Dating allows two persons to get to know more of each other's beauty... gotten married and spend lives together allow, i would say, teaches us how to accept each other's ugliness...
this is too realistic to be part of fairy tale thus the story always stop after it mentions the prince and princess got married... kekeke...
spending lives together, seeing and accepting each othet ugliness, learning to let each other's ugliness become part of each other's life... this is interestesting! dw and i are like two pcs puzzle that fit together to form picture. my strength covers up his weakness and his strength balance up my shortcoming points.. though we criticised each other at time (esp i would do that.. keke paiseh.. u know woman like to exercise their mouth alot), we know in out heart very well we are made to help each other. i thank God, for this relationship. and i thank God, i am no more on the shelf. kekeke...
now the most amazing and thankful thing is, dw and i are blessed with 3 children. gosh, not 1 or 2 but 3! what a good incredible number! most people will go wow when they hear the number '3' as nowadays young ppl like us will onli opt for 2... further more, 1st one is gal and 2nd one is boy, sooo perfect le, y go for third one, people we meet would ask us... kekeke... answer is, dw like to have 3 and i dun mind having more... cuz i enjoy childbirthing... kekeke yes, i am pervertish!
2 boys 1 girl is so perfect to us. this is exactly what we wanted. though my ideal position was let the last one be gal... but God is good. En, as the eldest gal help alot. she is a good helper, though at time she also problem creators... hahaha...
God is good to us. I pray that our family, our children will be faithful servants to God and let HIM use them almightily. i pray that my children will never stray away from God. Amen!
thinking back, 5 weeks ago i was anticipating the arrival of Yongjie... and i could still remember how hard i pushed this big fellow out of me.. kekeke...
thinking further back... ten yrs ago during this period, i was still wondering whether i will be married off.. kekeke... i was still single then, being left on the shelf, covered with spider web all over me...
i had never dare to dream of my wedding since i always thought i would never get married...to me, having the guy i love to love me as well was a fairy tale to me. and this fairy tale actually happened!and i could still remember how much tears i shed during our church ceremony.. tears of thankfulness and happiness...its was like at the end of all fairy tale, "the prince and the princess live happily everafter..."
well, not quite so, i would say... its just another phrase of life, another learning journey. Dating allows two persons to get to know more of each other's beauty... gotten married and spend lives together allow, i would say, teaches us how to accept each other's ugliness...
this is too realistic to be part of fairy tale thus the story always stop after it mentions the prince and princess got married... kekeke...
spending lives together, seeing and accepting each othet ugliness, learning to let each other's ugliness become part of each other's life... this is interestesting! dw and i are like two pcs puzzle that fit together to form picture. my strength covers up his weakness and his strength balance up my shortcoming points.. though we criticised each other at time (esp i would do that.. keke paiseh.. u know woman like to exercise their mouth alot), we know in out heart very well we are made to help each other. i thank God, for this relationship. and i thank God, i am no more on the shelf. kekeke...
now the most amazing and thankful thing is, dw and i are blessed with 3 children. gosh, not 1 or 2 but 3! what a good incredible number! most people will go wow when they hear the number '3' as nowadays young ppl like us will onli opt for 2... further more, 1st one is gal and 2nd one is boy, sooo perfect le, y go for third one, people we meet would ask us... kekeke... answer is, dw like to have 3 and i dun mind having more... cuz i enjoy childbirthing... kekeke yes, i am pervertish!
2 boys 1 girl is so perfect to us. this is exactly what we wanted. though my ideal position was let the last one be gal... but God is good. En, as the eldest gal help alot. she is a good helper, though at time she also problem creators... hahaha...
God is good to us. I pray that our family, our children will be faithful servants to God and let HIM use them almightily. i pray that my children will never stray away from God. Amen!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
shoo shoo jaundice!!!
time flies... confinement over soon... nanny will be leaving tomorrow. thank God and thank for meizhen who recommended this nanny to me. she is different compare to my first two... my previous confinement were, i cant wait for nanny to go back so that i can handle the baby myself... for this time round, i feel bit sad that she leaving soon :(.... frankly, at first i did have some complain of her... hehe... i find her quite kaypo... but later then, i find that other than tt, she is ok... (oh... to yongen, nanny is too naggy... kekeke... can see that yongen and nanny do not like each other... once caught en whispered to nanny "you dun keep saying me hor (in chinese)" i find it so funny... but of course i did not laugh it out la)
yongqi's onli problem now is his jaundice... its still in an upward trend despite he is already 27 days old... doctor from polyclinic has done thyroid test, urine test, liver test on him le.. all tests are cleared (thx God)... so now dr suspect that its prolonged jaundice due to breastmilk.. but dr also commented that at this age, even it is bm jaundice, the index should be maintained at certain level, if not down trend... thus he is worry that it might be due to some other hidden reason...
dr advised me to introduce formula for at least 2 days before the next test so as to prove that it is indeed due to breastmilk... i was very reluctant to do that! my friend suggested that i could instead of doing what the dr advised, alternate feed the baby with bm and formula... hmm... i dun feel gd abt giving in to formula la...
yesterday we went for another check up... the jaundice was still going up.. dr asked us to check again coming friday. if it still uptrend, then they will refer us to kk for thorough check...
haiz... i was rather worried abt fri jaundice check... if we really need to go to kk, then it would be quite troublesome... what if yongjie need to be admitted to kk? noooo..... at that point of time, i was really "six gods no main" (in chinese, liu shen wu zhu)... i called kk lactation nurse, east shore lactation nurse and breastfeeding support group to leave messages. after then, i was too 'luan', i asked my nanny to go to super market to purchase a tin of formula powder. i decided to adopt the alternate feeding schedule.
later then all the parties returned me calls... all of them encouraged me to continue with breastfeeding. they assured me that even it is bm jaundice, the jaundice wont do any harm to the baby. if the jaundice is due to other reason, then bm is even more essential to curb the prob. they also said that i should encourage yongjie to drink even more so that he can pass out the bilirubin in his poo... the breastfeeding support person, after hearing that when i am feeding jie, he always squim and twist, keep popping the nipple in and out... the person said maybe yongjie wanted to pee or poo but he did not want to do it in the diaper... she forwarded some info on this to me...
in the evenning, we gave yongjie his first formula feed. after 3 hours, i latched him for bm. he didnt take much. he even puked on me! i was soooo frustrated!!!!
at night, i tossed and turned. i prayed in my heart, asked God for guidance and wisdom. should i continue with the formula? or press on to feed him my bm? the thought of next feeding would be formula again made me feel guilty and angry with myself!
thus at that moment, i decided to give up the formula, press on with my bm. and after reading the breastfeeding support person's email, i took out jie's diaper today and put him on potty after he squimed and twisted, popped my nipple during feeding. and woohoo.... he really pee and poo! i was so happy! kekeke... very the good leh!!!!
really need to pray for yongjie! Og God, pls heal yongjie his jaundice. let the index come down. thank you God! in Jesus name, Amen!
yongqi's onli problem now is his jaundice... its still in an upward trend despite he is already 27 days old... doctor from polyclinic has done thyroid test, urine test, liver test on him le.. all tests are cleared (thx God)... so now dr suspect that its prolonged jaundice due to breastmilk.. but dr also commented that at this age, even it is bm jaundice, the index should be maintained at certain level, if not down trend... thus he is worry that it might be due to some other hidden reason...
dr advised me to introduce formula for at least 2 days before the next test so as to prove that it is indeed due to breastmilk... i was very reluctant to do that! my friend suggested that i could instead of doing what the dr advised, alternate feed the baby with bm and formula... hmm... i dun feel gd abt giving in to formula la...
yesterday we went for another check up... the jaundice was still going up.. dr asked us to check again coming friday. if it still uptrend, then they will refer us to kk for thorough check...
haiz... i was rather worried abt fri jaundice check... if we really need to go to kk, then it would be quite troublesome... what if yongjie need to be admitted to kk? noooo..... at that point of time, i was really "six gods no main" (in chinese, liu shen wu zhu)... i called kk lactation nurse, east shore lactation nurse and breastfeeding support group to leave messages. after then, i was too 'luan', i asked my nanny to go to super market to purchase a tin of formula powder. i decided to adopt the alternate feeding schedule.
later then all the parties returned me calls... all of them encouraged me to continue with breastfeeding. they assured me that even it is bm jaundice, the jaundice wont do any harm to the baby. if the jaundice is due to other reason, then bm is even more essential to curb the prob. they also said that i should encourage yongjie to drink even more so that he can pass out the bilirubin in his poo... the breastfeeding support person, after hearing that when i am feeding jie, he always squim and twist, keep popping the nipple in and out... the person said maybe yongjie wanted to pee or poo but he did not want to do it in the diaper... she forwarded some info on this to me...
in the evenning, we gave yongjie his first formula feed. after 3 hours, i latched him for bm. he didnt take much. he even puked on me! i was soooo frustrated!!!!
at night, i tossed and turned. i prayed in my heart, asked God for guidance and wisdom. should i continue with the formula? or press on to feed him my bm? the thought of next feeding would be formula again made me feel guilty and angry with myself!
thus at that moment, i decided to give up the formula, press on with my bm. and after reading the breastfeeding support person's email, i took out jie's diaper today and put him on potty after he squimed and twisted, popped my nipple during feeding. and woohoo.... he really pee and poo! i was so happy! kekeke... very the good leh!!!!
really need to pray for yongjie! Og God, pls heal yongjie his jaundice. let the index come down. thank you God! in Jesus name, Amen!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Many many thoughts...
Yongjie is 12 days old le... Everything is good and fine! I really thank God for all things. I never know how blessed I am till my confinement nanny keeps saying I very 'yong' (fit) and recover very fast.. She told me many of mummies she attended took abt two weeks to recover from wound, whereas I look so well since the day she saw me (which is day 2 after given birth).. She commented I dun look like like I just given birth at all! Praise God!
Really thank God for good milk flow and supply! Yongjie has been very well fed since day 4 and now he will always pay me with a big 'burp' after each meal! Kekeke....
The another thing to give thank is yongjie's jaundice. Though it's still under observation by Polyclinic, doc said he is mature enough so need not phototheraphy. Woohoo! So glad that he dun need to return to the hospital for light like his two elder siblings. (I was actually in stdndby mode that he would be the same as en and Qi lor)
yongjie really makes me proud of him.. He is so adorable and alert. He could trace noise and turn towards it.. He gives good eye contact. He is very mature.. He also establish good latch on skill since he was two days old. Very clever boy indeed.
Yesterday friends from mer visited me. Before they left, my lady friend hugged me. The hug sent me into thoughts again.. I remember end of 2008 the same friend hugged me to console me lost of yongle. Ya I suddenly thought of yongle... I never forget abt yongle. I will always remember to claim him from Jesus when I get to heaven. :))
yesterday dw brought Qi to the church. I was sort of quite worry abt him as he just recovered from viral fever. Thus I sent SMS to some of my trusted friends, asking them to monitor Qi and not let him take heaty or cold stuff.. Really thank God for these church sisters. Cuz of them, I can be very 'fang xin'! Ya, thanks alot sisters. Love u all so much! Thanks for taking care of my kids..
Really have many thoughts... Guess I have too much time... Kekeke... Really thank God for my hubby my children my parents my siblings my in laws my church sis n bros..... Thank you all! Muck!!
Really thank God for good milk flow and supply! Yongjie has been very well fed since day 4 and now he will always pay me with a big 'burp' after each meal! Kekeke....
The another thing to give thank is yongjie's jaundice. Though it's still under observation by Polyclinic, doc said he is mature enough so need not phototheraphy. Woohoo! So glad that he dun need to return to the hospital for light like his two elder siblings. (I was actually in stdndby mode that he would be the same as en and Qi lor)
yongjie really makes me proud of him.. He is so adorable and alert. He could trace noise and turn towards it.. He gives good eye contact. He is very mature.. He also establish good latch on skill since he was two days old. Very clever boy indeed.
Yesterday friends from mer visited me. Before they left, my lady friend hugged me. The hug sent me into thoughts again.. I remember end of 2008 the same friend hugged me to console me lost of yongle. Ya I suddenly thought of yongle... I never forget abt yongle. I will always remember to claim him from Jesus when I get to heaven. :))
yesterday dw brought Qi to the church. I was sort of quite worry abt him as he just recovered from viral fever. Thus I sent SMS to some of my trusted friends, asking them to monitor Qi and not let him take heaty or cold stuff.. Really thank God for these church sisters. Cuz of them, I can be very 'fang xin'! Ya, thanks alot sisters. Love u all so much! Thanks for taking care of my kids..
Really have many thoughts... Guess I have too much time... Kekeke... Really thank God for my hubby my children my parents my siblings my in laws my church sis n bros..... Thank you all! Muck!!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
recuperating at home
woohoo.. yongjie has finally meet the world... he is soooo cute...
he is indeed a big baby... weighing 4.015kg, head circumference of 37cm and length of 53cm!
hmm.... this time, though the gynae told me it would be a long labor, it was still the same 3hrs wait after the drip... (not taking the pill insertion time into consideration...)
the contraction started after the drip was used on me... i experimented the use of the laughing gas and realise that by using it, the contraction comes closer and more intense... meaning the process will be faster than when i use the breadthing technic to conquer my pain...
i started my drip at 1.35pm after the gynae break my water bag. she instructed the midwife to check on me at 4.30pm to see if i have any further dilation... she told me that if by then i was still not dilated, she would consider giving me c section. and of course she also instructed, in case i have the 'pang sai' feeling, i can get the midwife to check my dilation...
at about 3pm, i was getting bored and thought that maybe a check of dilation may motivate me to go on... so i pressed the nurse bell to request for a check... but the midwife refused to check on me.. she said that the gynae instructed to check at 4.30pm unless i have the 'pang sai' urge... else its better not to check too often... so i no choice, back to my waiting boredom...
at about 3.45pm, i thought i was having the pang sai feeling le.. though not very intensive... i wanted the midwife to check my dilation. so i sort of exaggerated my pang sai urge... the midwife (happen to be another one, not knowing the gynae's instruction one) checked on me and told me its 6cm dilated.. i was so happy to hear that and i told her she should call the gynae le as from my past experiences, 6cm to 10cm could be very fast happening for me.... from there on, i started to use my laughing gas more frequently...
the midwife called the gynae and passed me a message that she was on the way.. in case the contraction comes again, just use the gas.. do not push.. let the dilation reaches 10cm first...
as time passed, the contraction is really intensed... the pang sai feeling is so XXXXXXXX and i really feel like pushing le....but i couldnt! so i lept using the gas, suck suck suck till i high high high.... then when my contraction ceased, i would shout 'where is the doctor?'
finally the pushing urge was unbearable le... the midwife told me if i had to push, then do it slowly... and i did according to instruction.. finally BLINK* my gynae sppeared! wow... so happy and glad!!!
ok pushing excercise finally to be administered! hey i realised i had not much strength to push hard eh!!! the midwives held my thigh, my hubby by my side, lifted my head forward... arrrr~~~~~~~ damn! the head is sooo big lor....but still need to push eh.... so i pushed... and finally the head emerged... and from there, its the gan jiong part... as my bb shoulder could be slightly bigger than his head... so once the head emerged, its important to push all the way so that his shoulder wont be stucked in there (which is my gynae's biggest worry) so the atmosphere was sooo tensed... the midwives pushed my thigh further (and they were lucky i didnt kicked them) and my gynae stood up to encouraged me... my hubby kept asking me to push.... what a BIG SHIT!!!! ARRRRRR~~~~~ ya... and the big shit finally out!
phew! when the weighing machine showed 4.015kg... i felt as if i got my result slip from an important exam like that.... and the result was indeed worth to be proud of... kekeke... i hit my targeted weight for this baby... above 4kg!!!
thank God! i am recuperating well! the wound is not painful anymore... the bleeding is not that much le... even the milk flow is good now (on day 4 lor)... just now after feeding my lil boy, he return me with a big BURP!!! kekeke... thats very satisfying!!!
now what we are to fight against is the jaundice threat. we have to go to the polyclinic to have yongjie's blood checked on monday... keeping our fingers crossed... may the Lord bless yongjie...
also another prayer requirment is that yongjie has to adjust his morning and night routine... he should wake more in the day and sleep more in the night... last night he wasnt very co operative... yet today whole day, he slept peacefully... lil terrorist! but he is cute! very cute terrorist!
oh ya, dreamt of my en and qi last night also... i dreamt that cuixian jie, with dw's consent, has arranged to give my qi away... i was so sad... i saw qi with his 'foster daddy' and i wanted my qi back yet they refused to let me get near him... sob sob... i cried... even till i woke from my dream.... i thought, 'no one is taking away any of my children!!! they are the most precious thing i have ever had!!!'
this dream made me miss my two children en and qi... its ok... they will be back tml... :) maybe when they back, i will start to call tolong and hope the weekend comes quickly so that they can be sent away again! :P kekeke...
he is indeed a big baby... weighing 4.015kg, head circumference of 37cm and length of 53cm!
hmm.... this time, though the gynae told me it would be a long labor, it was still the same 3hrs wait after the drip... (not taking the pill insertion time into consideration...)
the contraction started after the drip was used on me... i experimented the use of the laughing gas and realise that by using it, the contraction comes closer and more intense... meaning the process will be faster than when i use the breadthing technic to conquer my pain...
i started my drip at 1.35pm after the gynae break my water bag. she instructed the midwife to check on me at 4.30pm to see if i have any further dilation... she told me that if by then i was still not dilated, she would consider giving me c section. and of course she also instructed, in case i have the 'pang sai' feeling, i can get the midwife to check my dilation...
at about 3pm, i was getting bored and thought that maybe a check of dilation may motivate me to go on... so i pressed the nurse bell to request for a check... but the midwife refused to check on me.. she said that the gynae instructed to check at 4.30pm unless i have the 'pang sai' urge... else its better not to check too often... so i no choice, back to my waiting boredom...
at about 3.45pm, i thought i was having the pang sai feeling le.. though not very intensive... i wanted the midwife to check my dilation. so i sort of exaggerated my pang sai urge... the midwife (happen to be another one, not knowing the gynae's instruction one) checked on me and told me its 6cm dilated.. i was so happy to hear that and i told her she should call the gynae le as from my past experiences, 6cm to 10cm could be very fast happening for me.... from there on, i started to use my laughing gas more frequently...
the midwife called the gynae and passed me a message that she was on the way.. in case the contraction comes again, just use the gas.. do not push.. let the dilation reaches 10cm first...
as time passed, the contraction is really intensed... the pang sai feeling is so XXXXXXXX and i really feel like pushing le....but i couldnt! so i lept using the gas, suck suck suck till i high high high.... then when my contraction ceased, i would shout 'where is the doctor?'
finally the pushing urge was unbearable le... the midwife told me if i had to push, then do it slowly... and i did according to instruction.. finally BLINK* my gynae sppeared! wow... so happy and glad!!!
ok pushing excercise finally to be administered! hey i realised i had not much strength to push hard eh!!! the midwives held my thigh, my hubby by my side, lifted my head forward... arrrr~~~~~~~ damn! the head is sooo big lor....but still need to push eh.... so i pushed... and finally the head emerged... and from there, its the gan jiong part... as my bb shoulder could be slightly bigger than his head... so once the head emerged, its important to push all the way so that his shoulder wont be stucked in there (which is my gynae's biggest worry) so the atmosphere was sooo tensed... the midwives pushed my thigh further (and they were lucky i didnt kicked them) and my gynae stood up to encouraged me... my hubby kept asking me to push.... what a BIG SHIT!!!! ARRRRRR~~~~~ ya... and the big shit finally out!
phew! when the weighing machine showed 4.015kg... i felt as if i got my result slip from an important exam like that.... and the result was indeed worth to be proud of... kekeke... i hit my targeted weight for this baby... above 4kg!!!
thank God! i am recuperating well! the wound is not painful anymore... the bleeding is not that much le... even the milk flow is good now (on day 4 lor)... just now after feeding my lil boy, he return me with a big BURP!!! kekeke... thats very satisfying!!!
now what we are to fight against is the jaundice threat. we have to go to the polyclinic to have yongjie's blood checked on monday... keeping our fingers crossed... may the Lord bless yongjie...
also another prayer requirment is that yongjie has to adjust his morning and night routine... he should wake more in the day and sleep more in the night... last night he wasnt very co operative... yet today whole day, he slept peacefully... lil terrorist! but he is cute! very cute terrorist!
oh ya, dreamt of my en and qi last night also... i dreamt that cuixian jie, with dw's consent, has arranged to give my qi away... i was so sad... i saw qi with his 'foster daddy' and i wanted my qi back yet they refused to let me get near him... sob sob... i cried... even till i woke from my dream.... i thought, 'no one is taking away any of my children!!! they are the most precious thing i have ever had!!!'
this dream made me miss my two children en and qi... its ok... they will be back tml... :) maybe when they back, i will start to call tolong and hope the weekend comes quickly so that they can be sent away again! :P kekeke...
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Wait wait wait... To welcome my yongjie soon
Here I am in the hospital... Damn! The place is having renovation so drilling noise on and off.. But come to think of it, also gd la, Bb come out will get use of noise!! Kekeke... Now monitoring Machine on me. I have managed to take quick nap of at least an hour... Hmm.. Quite comfy!! Jus now heard next labor ward's happening. The woman was screaming man!!! I was in my heart cheering and praying for her. The moment I heard the Bb crier, I was so happy that I almost reared for that mum! Well done mummy!! Kekeke...
I was quite worried yesterday when Gynae told me Bb is big and some scary news like I may need to wait very long this time bla bla bla... But somehoe choosing to come bac to Esh make me feel I made the right choice so far.. The place make me feel warmth and like at home.. I start to have peace the moment I entered the labor ward. The midwife assured me alot and I really appreciated.
Ok. Better savey iPhone batt for later use. Kekeke...
I was quite worried yesterday when Gynae told me Bb is big and some scary news like I may need to wait very long this time bla bla bla... But somehoe choosing to come bac to Esh make me feel I made the right choice so far.. The place make me feel warmth and like at home.. I start to have peace the moment I entered the labor ward. The midwife assured me alot and I really appreciated.
Ok. Better savey iPhone batt for later use. Kekeke...
Saturday, March 20, 2010
everything is ready for yongjie
i will be 39 weeks pregnant tomorrow!!!! yay!!!! so, i just have to wait for another 6 days if i am to go into induce labor.... hmm... will yongjie come out by himself instead?!?!
everything is set up and packed and ready for yongjie le... at first, seeing dw so busy with his teaching, i planned to let yongjie sleep in playpen bassinet for the first 6 months as it is easier to dismantle and setup than the baby cot... i thought to help dw save time and energy for all these tasks.... thus, i managed to ask from my sis a hand down playpen... well... i would say setting up a playpen though not so tedious but needed some skill too.... hmm.... at least took dw and me two days to try and error...
after setting up the playpen, i realise that the bassinet is not what i thought to be... it is only a net cover that goes over the top of the playpen!!! ok my sis laughed at me said me turtle from the mountain!!!! but i really thought it is a hung solid based section... looking at the playpen with bassinet... i started to doubt my big baby can sleep in it for 6 months... perhaps 3 months is already quite 'maybe case' as my kids weight record at 3 months was 8 to 8.8kg!!!! and i started to picture how nanny gonna change his diaper on the flimsy bassinet... and i thought worst case, she would have to make use of the computer table as temporary changing table...
i did not discuss my concern with dw... but we seem to have similar concern over this matter.. (finally we are in same frequency!!! kekeke..) one evening, dw mentioned that the playpen is too flimsy for the baby... he said he would rather set up the baby cot, and would not mind to dismantle it again after one month to move it into our room.... i was so glad to hear this... and we spent the next day, whole afternoon, trying to dismantle the playpen... (ok to dismantle it also need skill la...) and also set up the baby cot...
now cot is ready, hospital bag is ready, baby clothings are washed... what else? i guess i have done all the necessary!!! i even trying to get my confinement menu plan done during these few days... i dun wan to miss any of the gd nutritious food... yummy...
tomorrow is sunday service... i need to go church tomorrow... i foresee brothers and sisters will start asking 'why are you still here?' again cuz they did that last week and i told them i will be giving birth on 18th... hmm.. maybe i should paste a paper across my chest and write 'will go into induce labour on 26th if he still refuse to come out himself by then...' and last week my church uncle was kind enough to send someone buy me my fav big prawn mee for my breakfast cuz he thought i am going into confinement soon lor... so sweet...
ok yongjie... listen... ur daddy only rented the condominium 'mummy's womb' for 40 weeks!!! and due to your size, the latest date you have to move out is 26th march. thus, please get yourself ready to move out... i know its a wonderful place in there with private swimming pool and suana jacuzzi... but the outside world is even more interesting and many are waiting to meet you!!! so COME OUT!!!!!
Love from mummy and daddy and sister yongen and brother yongqi... (kekeke)
everything is set up and packed and ready for yongjie le... at first, seeing dw so busy with his teaching, i planned to let yongjie sleep in playpen bassinet for the first 6 months as it is easier to dismantle and setup than the baby cot... i thought to help dw save time and energy for all these tasks.... thus, i managed to ask from my sis a hand down playpen... well... i would say setting up a playpen though not so tedious but needed some skill too.... hmm.... at least took dw and me two days to try and error...
after setting up the playpen, i realise that the bassinet is not what i thought to be... it is only a net cover that goes over the top of the playpen!!! ok my sis laughed at me said me turtle from the mountain!!!! but i really thought it is a hung solid based section... looking at the playpen with bassinet... i started to doubt my big baby can sleep in it for 6 months... perhaps 3 months is already quite 'maybe case' as my kids weight record at 3 months was 8 to 8.8kg!!!! and i started to picture how nanny gonna change his diaper on the flimsy bassinet... and i thought worst case, she would have to make use of the computer table as temporary changing table...
i did not discuss my concern with dw... but we seem to have similar concern over this matter.. (finally we are in same frequency!!! kekeke..) one evening, dw mentioned that the playpen is too flimsy for the baby... he said he would rather set up the baby cot, and would not mind to dismantle it again after one month to move it into our room.... i was so glad to hear this... and we spent the next day, whole afternoon, trying to dismantle the playpen... (ok to dismantle it also need skill la...) and also set up the baby cot...
now cot is ready, hospital bag is ready, baby clothings are washed... what else? i guess i have done all the necessary!!! i even trying to get my confinement menu plan done during these few days... i dun wan to miss any of the gd nutritious food... yummy...
tomorrow is sunday service... i need to go church tomorrow... i foresee brothers and sisters will start asking 'why are you still here?' again cuz they did that last week and i told them i will be giving birth on 18th... hmm.. maybe i should paste a paper across my chest and write 'will go into induce labour on 26th if he still refuse to come out himself by then...' and last week my church uncle was kind enough to send someone buy me my fav big prawn mee for my breakfast cuz he thought i am going into confinement soon lor... so sweet...
ok yongjie... listen... ur daddy only rented the condominium 'mummy's womb' for 40 weeks!!! and due to your size, the latest date you have to move out is 26th march. thus, please get yourself ready to move out... i know its a wonderful place in there with private swimming pool and suana jacuzzi... but the outside world is even more interesting and many are waiting to meet you!!! so COME OUT!!!!!
Love from mummy and daddy and sister yongen and brother yongqi... (kekeke)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
wait wait wait....
so when was the last time i blogged? kekeke... quite some times...
now i am 37 weeks 4 days pregnant!!! counting down counting down.... cant wait to see my little yongjie.... at first the gynae said wanna induce me at 38th weeks 4th days... which means exactly one week from now... but last week when i visited her, she said if cervix is not ready next wednesday, she would want to wait for another week!!! errrr~~~~ she has been quite flicker minded!!!! making me so confused!!!! anyway, i have prayed that God to take control of the date and timing... so i sort of have peace on this matter and decided to enjoy my waiting period.. (good thing is worth waiting...)
after discussion with dw, we agreed that if we are to wait for another one week, the best time to induce (if by then yongjie still refuse to come out himself) will be 26th Mar. As that day is a friday, i will have to admit the hospital myself while dw will join me after he finishes his teaching at school, which is abt 1pm... at that time, i should be having intensive contraction and ready to push lil fellow out (if the induce timing is similar to en and qi... both of them were induced at 9am and they were out at 2pm and 1.30pm respectively).. think like that also good.. dw can make good use of his time teach in sch and dun need to do any make up lesson after that... i quite like this arrangement...
so now i shall assume that yongjie will come out 26th instead... so count down count down... 15 more days to go.... count count count.... realise that i have waited for 37 weeks... yet another 2 weeks seem longer than 37!!!! errr~~~~ ok i shall be patient patient patient...
Thank God, my cousin is on school holiday till 18 April... so this period of time she will on and off be at my place help me entertain my two fellows so that i could have more time to rest... after i give birth, she will stay at my place during weekdays to help me attend to them so that the confinement nanny can concentrate on me and yongjie... i would say she is of great help!!!! really... but the only thing i worry is that after she leave, will the kids still demand that kind of entertainment which i will not be able to cater.... May the Lord help me in this area.. let the kids be able to enjoy ah yi's companionship, yet able to know that kind of companionship is a bonus.... and will not demand so after that...
friends out there, pls pray with me n keep me in ur prayer...
dear father God, please give me more wisdom, prepare my heart so tt i can effectively take care of my 3 kids. take control of the whole delivery process, clense every equipements that the medical staffs will be using to deliver yongjie... let the procedure be smooth and quick and painless... let yongjie be healthy and happy... thank you Lord for another precious child You are giving me. in Jesus name Amen...
now i am 37 weeks 4 days pregnant!!! counting down counting down.... cant wait to see my little yongjie.... at first the gynae said wanna induce me at 38th weeks 4th days... which means exactly one week from now... but last week when i visited her, she said if cervix is not ready next wednesday, she would want to wait for another week!!! errrr~~~~ she has been quite flicker minded!!!! making me so confused!!!! anyway, i have prayed that God to take control of the date and timing... so i sort of have peace on this matter and decided to enjoy my waiting period.. (good thing is worth waiting...)
after discussion with dw, we agreed that if we are to wait for another one week, the best time to induce (if by then yongjie still refuse to come out himself) will be 26th Mar. As that day is a friday, i will have to admit the hospital myself while dw will join me after he finishes his teaching at school, which is abt 1pm... at that time, i should be having intensive contraction and ready to push lil fellow out (if the induce timing is similar to en and qi... both of them were induced at 9am and they were out at 2pm and 1.30pm respectively).. think like that also good.. dw can make good use of his time teach in sch and dun need to do any make up lesson after that... i quite like this arrangement...
so now i shall assume that yongjie will come out 26th instead... so count down count down... 15 more days to go.... count count count.... realise that i have waited for 37 weeks... yet another 2 weeks seem longer than 37!!!! errr~~~~ ok i shall be patient patient patient...
Thank God, my cousin is on school holiday till 18 April... so this period of time she will on and off be at my place help me entertain my two fellows so that i could have more time to rest... after i give birth, she will stay at my place during weekdays to help me attend to them so that the confinement nanny can concentrate on me and yongjie... i would say she is of great help!!!! really... but the only thing i worry is that after she leave, will the kids still demand that kind of entertainment which i will not be able to cater.... May the Lord help me in this area.. let the kids be able to enjoy ah yi's companionship, yet able to know that kind of companionship is a bonus.... and will not demand so after that...
friends out there, pls pray with me n keep me in ur prayer...
dear father God, please give me more wisdom, prepare my heart so tt i can effectively take care of my 3 kids. take control of the whole delivery process, clense every equipements that the medical staffs will be using to deliver yongjie... let the procedure be smooth and quick and painless... let yongjie be healthy and happy... thank you Lord for another precious child You are giving me. in Jesus name Amen...
Monday, February 1, 2010
give thanks
have sorted and uploaded the children's growing up photos recently. by looking at the pics, many memories were flashed back.
the moment when i realised i was preggy with yongen... it was such a miracle to me... i thought i would have difficulty conceiving due to my irregular menses... even the doc also told me my chance is lower than normal women... but i was sooo keen to have a kid soon... actually for the sake of my in laws... cuz i thought they already near 70 and they would sure love to have at least a grandchild soon.... i myself grew up, being sooo close to my granny... thus i love my kids to have the 'granny love' kind of childhood too...
when i noticed my first preggy is a girl, i thought my in law and parents would be disappointed... i mean i thought most elderlys love to have grandson... in fact i myself felt disappointed and cried when the scan showed its a girl... dw and i kept thinking we would have a boy first... but later that, i apologosed to my unborn gal and accepted the fact... actually its good to have gal first.. she really helps alot...
after giving birth to my gal, i thought of having another boy asap... thought that it would be pleasing to my in law, hubby and of course my parents side... and i myself were hoping to parent a boy too... Thank God, he answered prayer. my second child is indeed a boy... a wonderful cute boy... but after having my boy, i realised my inlaw actually prefers gal to boy... hmmm~~~~
u wont believe this, while i was still in hospital after giving birth to my first two kids, i already hoping and planning in my mind when am i gonna have my next kid... kekeke... i am not intimidated by the child birth process at all... in fact i like the feel of giving birth... i love the anticipation... i enjoy the moment when i finally meet my tummy products... kekeke...
dw was the one who actually 'kiv' the third child arrival... and this made me thought he only wanted 2... later then he told me he didnt want me to be too stressed out... if the kids gap are close, it would be very difficult to handle... he said it would be ideal if the second one is 3 years gap from the third one... to me, its such a long wait....
when yongqi was about 2 years old, out of our expectation, i was pregnant! but that baby did not make it... i miscarried at week 6, only found out when it was at 9th week... that was a very big blow to both dw and i... even yongen was sad about the news. this experience really hit me hard... i treasure even more my pregnancy from then..
I waited and waited, prayed and prayed... asking God when would He send me another precious baby... My faithful God finally allow me to pregnant again 7 months after my miscarriage.. this time, i hope that it could be another boy... cuz dw wants another boy... and i guess my parent side would love to have one more grandson too... and my faithful God grants me my wish...
now i am 32 weeks preggy... since my gynae wants to induce me at week 38, i am 6 weeks away from meeting my yongjie... how excited i am... esp seeing friends' newborns around me popping out one by one... sooo looking forward...
i realised dw has been sooo busy recently eversince school reopens... he is as busy as that time when he first teach... i remember that time i was soooo depressed due to his busyness... when he gets busy, he gets tired. so i have to most time attend the kids myself... this time round, i find that i am able to handle his busyness better than last time.. maybe its cuz we both got used to each other style and routine so we know when we should step in and when we should give each other space... another reason is, the kids have grown big le... sometimes yongen can really help me alot, be it task wise or emotional sharing part... last time i had only dw to tslk to.. now yongen can be another listener and helper...
i really thank God for my family, hubby and children... other than that, my church my friends also contributed alot in my life. my church pig and dog friends never fail to help me attend my kids... they also helped me release very much of my stress too by asking me out to spend money... kekeke...i really feel blessed. really. thanks to all of you. thanks to my good and faithful God.
the moment when i realised i was preggy with yongen... it was such a miracle to me... i thought i would have difficulty conceiving due to my irregular menses... even the doc also told me my chance is lower than normal women... but i was sooo keen to have a kid soon... actually for the sake of my in laws... cuz i thought they already near 70 and they would sure love to have at least a grandchild soon.... i myself grew up, being sooo close to my granny... thus i love my kids to have the 'granny love' kind of childhood too...
when i noticed my first preggy is a girl, i thought my in law and parents would be disappointed... i mean i thought most elderlys love to have grandson... in fact i myself felt disappointed and cried when the scan showed its a girl... dw and i kept thinking we would have a boy first... but later that, i apologosed to my unborn gal and accepted the fact... actually its good to have gal first.. she really helps alot...
after giving birth to my gal, i thought of having another boy asap... thought that it would be pleasing to my in law, hubby and of course my parents side... and i myself were hoping to parent a boy too... Thank God, he answered prayer. my second child is indeed a boy... a wonderful cute boy... but after having my boy, i realised my inlaw actually prefers gal to boy... hmmm~~~~
u wont believe this, while i was still in hospital after giving birth to my first two kids, i already hoping and planning in my mind when am i gonna have my next kid... kekeke... i am not intimidated by the child birth process at all... in fact i like the feel of giving birth... i love the anticipation... i enjoy the moment when i finally meet my tummy products... kekeke...
dw was the one who actually 'kiv' the third child arrival... and this made me thought he only wanted 2... later then he told me he didnt want me to be too stressed out... if the kids gap are close, it would be very difficult to handle... he said it would be ideal if the second one is 3 years gap from the third one... to me, its such a long wait....
when yongqi was about 2 years old, out of our expectation, i was pregnant! but that baby did not make it... i miscarried at week 6, only found out when it was at 9th week... that was a very big blow to both dw and i... even yongen was sad about the news. this experience really hit me hard... i treasure even more my pregnancy from then..
I waited and waited, prayed and prayed... asking God when would He send me another precious baby... My faithful God finally allow me to pregnant again 7 months after my miscarriage.. this time, i hope that it could be another boy... cuz dw wants another boy... and i guess my parent side would love to have one more grandson too... and my faithful God grants me my wish...
now i am 32 weeks preggy... since my gynae wants to induce me at week 38, i am 6 weeks away from meeting my yongjie... how excited i am... esp seeing friends' newborns around me popping out one by one... sooo looking forward...
i realised dw has been sooo busy recently eversince school reopens... he is as busy as that time when he first teach... i remember that time i was soooo depressed due to his busyness... when he gets busy, he gets tired. so i have to most time attend the kids myself... this time round, i find that i am able to handle his busyness better than last time.. maybe its cuz we both got used to each other style and routine so we know when we should step in and when we should give each other space... another reason is, the kids have grown big le... sometimes yongen can really help me alot, be it task wise or emotional sharing part... last time i had only dw to tslk to.. now yongen can be another listener and helper...
i really thank God for my family, hubby and children... other than that, my church my friends also contributed alot in my life. my church pig and dog friends never fail to help me attend my kids... they also helped me release very much of my stress too by asking me out to spend money... kekeke...i really feel blessed. really. thanks to all of you. thanks to my good and faithful God.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
will be induced during march holiday
i went for my gynae appointment yesterday. my appointment was supposed to be in the morning as there was another patient planning to undergo induce labour on the same day and was expected to deliver in the noon or afternoon... who knows, she was in natural labour early morning thus resulted the doctor needed to attend her first and came back to the clinic only at 11am... this really made me panic as my plan was to fetch the children and bring them to mac after my gynae appointment. the children's school ends at 11am!!!! Therefore, i started to call for help... but none was available... left with no choice, i called the kindergarten, requested them to keep my children for an extra hour while i would rush to fetch them before 12.10pm. thank God the kindergarten was willing to help... but they said this would be the one and only exception... in fact i could understand... if all parents have this kind of request, the kindergarten will be in difficult position... Really thank God that they were willing to make exceptional help...
during my discussion with my gynae, she told me base on my past two birthgiving records, the possibility that i will go into labour myself is not high. If thats is the case, she may need to induce me before my week 40 gestation cuz she does not want the baby to be too big. she hopes that the baby will not be more than 4kg as she hopes that she need not perform episiodomy on me... and i honestly confessed to her that i am also facing difficulty as in if i am to go into labour while my children and hubby are in the school, i would need to fetch my kids to a caregiver and admit to the hospital by myself as there is very low chance that i could contact my hubby once he is on duty in school. the chance that i will have to handle labour and childbirth by myself is quite high since my EDD is after the school term holiday... i asked her if i am to go into induce labour, can i choose it on 1 April then as 2 april is good friday, dw can accompany me... she said no as the baby by then would be really too big le... then she asked me would it be good if she induce me during the school holiday? and i told her of course it would be the best timing during the school holiday... but i really wish that my baby can be 'breed' till full term.. and she told me after week 37, it is considered full term le....if she induce me on the 15th march (ie on the monday of the holiday) i am already in the 38th weeks. so it should be fine... she told me for my case, it is really better to have a planned labour. cuz other than the above reasons, another reason is she stayed quite far away from east shore hospital (though her clinic is just bearby). In case i go into labour in the morning or evening (when she on the way home, near home) during the peak hour when there is heavy traffic jam, she may not be able to rush to the hospital on time. Thus the best thing is i go into labour when she is in her clinic... (the clinic is just two street away from the hospital)
after the discussion, we move on to the scan... though i have controlled my sugar level well, and i have only gained 700g, (in fact only 400g... after i clear my bowel at the clinic, i weighed myself again) my baby is growing big and has gained 700g, hitting the weight of 2kg at gestation of 31 weeks 3 days!!! my baby has a big head which measurement is equivalent to week 34 or 35!!! he also got big feet! measured 6.6cm (3 weeks ago was 5.5cm). trunk (body) wise he is about 33 weeks (ok with that)... and thigh is bit short, 30 plus weeks... after all the measurements, my gynae, once again confirmed it would be right decision to induce earlier.... the only problem now we facing is, the baby is still in breech position. so we need to pray for the baby to turn around before weeks 37. doc said baby would turn before week 37. after that, there is no much space for him to turn le... so please keep me in prayer. yong en prayed for me last night too...
doc said most probably she will induce me beginning of the week (ie, monday or tuesday) so that dw can have more time with me before school reopens... but the actual day is yet to be set... dw needs to give me a reply whether he is able to arrange his remedial classes on thursday and friday, or whether he has got any meeting on monday or so....haiz, so busy... till seh gia also need to be planned like this...
oh ya, also not forgetting wendy's request to enter labour ward with me to video the whole procedure... sorry wendy, the gynae said this is not encouraged. she said sometimes it could be very gan jiong and cramped when mummy starts delivering... thus 'extra person' should be kept minimum... plus the hospital also has policy not allowing people to video the whole process and private scene of the patient unless special permission granted for educational purpose...she said even the spouse, they are only allowed to video and take pic after the baby comes out... so answer to your request is no....
i really hope that this decision to induce at week 38th is a decision that the Lord allows. I am also praying that if the Lord does not like this decision, let me have no peace about it....
Oh God, please let me know if You are happy with all these decision....
during my discussion with my gynae, she told me base on my past two birthgiving records, the possibility that i will go into labour myself is not high. If thats is the case, she may need to induce me before my week 40 gestation cuz she does not want the baby to be too big. she hopes that the baby will not be more than 4kg as she hopes that she need not perform episiodomy on me... and i honestly confessed to her that i am also facing difficulty as in if i am to go into labour while my children and hubby are in the school, i would need to fetch my kids to a caregiver and admit to the hospital by myself as there is very low chance that i could contact my hubby once he is on duty in school. the chance that i will have to handle labour and childbirth by myself is quite high since my EDD is after the school term holiday... i asked her if i am to go into induce labour, can i choose it on 1 April then as 2 april is good friday, dw can accompany me... she said no as the baby by then would be really too big le... then she asked me would it be good if she induce me during the school holiday? and i told her of course it would be the best timing during the school holiday... but i really wish that my baby can be 'breed' till full term.. and she told me after week 37, it is considered full term le....if she induce me on the 15th march (ie on the monday of the holiday) i am already in the 38th weeks. so it should be fine... she told me for my case, it is really better to have a planned labour. cuz other than the above reasons, another reason is she stayed quite far away from east shore hospital (though her clinic is just bearby). In case i go into labour in the morning or evening (when she on the way home, near home) during the peak hour when there is heavy traffic jam, she may not be able to rush to the hospital on time. Thus the best thing is i go into labour when she is in her clinic... (the clinic is just two street away from the hospital)
after the discussion, we move on to the scan... though i have controlled my sugar level well, and i have only gained 700g, (in fact only 400g... after i clear my bowel at the clinic, i weighed myself again) my baby is growing big and has gained 700g, hitting the weight of 2kg at gestation of 31 weeks 3 days!!! my baby has a big head which measurement is equivalent to week 34 or 35!!! he also got big feet! measured 6.6cm (3 weeks ago was 5.5cm). trunk (body) wise he is about 33 weeks (ok with that)... and thigh is bit short, 30 plus weeks... after all the measurements, my gynae, once again confirmed it would be right decision to induce earlier.... the only problem now we facing is, the baby is still in breech position. so we need to pray for the baby to turn around before weeks 37. doc said baby would turn before week 37. after that, there is no much space for him to turn le... so please keep me in prayer. yong en prayed for me last night too...
doc said most probably she will induce me beginning of the week (ie, monday or tuesday) so that dw can have more time with me before school reopens... but the actual day is yet to be set... dw needs to give me a reply whether he is able to arrange his remedial classes on thursday and friday, or whether he has got any meeting on monday or so....haiz, so busy... till seh gia also need to be planned like this...
oh ya, also not forgetting wendy's request to enter labour ward with me to video the whole procedure... sorry wendy, the gynae said this is not encouraged. she said sometimes it could be very gan jiong and cramped when mummy starts delivering... thus 'extra person' should be kept minimum... plus the hospital also has policy not allowing people to video the whole process and private scene of the patient unless special permission granted for educational purpose...she said even the spouse, they are only allowed to video and take pic after the baby comes out... so answer to your request is no....
i really hope that this decision to induce at week 38th is a decision that the Lord allows. I am also praying that if the Lord does not like this decision, let me have no peace about it....
Oh God, please let me know if You are happy with all these decision....
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Good year of blessingssssss.....
Its the second week of school reopen... so far so good... the morning three hours free time is real good... for sleeping!!! kekeke....
Thank God, yongqi adapts well in school. he likes school very much. He would come back with chinese nursery rhyme and songs... he is also a 'chinese person' like his dad...
the funny thing was when we asked him what did the teacher tell him or teach him today, he would answered 'teacher said sit down'... kekeke... i guess he had been walking around in the classroom... today he told me when he reached home, 'teacher did not angry me' i asked him did he walk around in the class, he said no... kekeke... guess thats why the teacher was not angry with him today!
yongen started this year well too... i have been doing revision on addition and subtraction with her and she could handle them well... esp on addition, she could do addition up to 20..
she also passed her first chinese ting xie and english spelling well. she scored 2 upon 2 for the ting xie and 4 upon 5 for her spelling (mispelt 'brush' as 'brsh')... considering the amount of time she spent on her spelling, i think she was very good le...
this year is a good year, i believe. so much good things has happened in january (oh ya, yongen knows how to spell 'january' now, within 4 days after school started,.. i am so proud of her...) God will bless us even more in year 2010.
Firstly, the school my hubby teaches in has changed principal... and this principal, to me, is a more practical and family focused person...
secondly, my hubby's last year students had scored well in their O level maths. among the students he taught last year who took the O level exam, only one failed. and he said that the school's overall performance on maths has improved tremendously. Thank God for that.
Talking about O level exam, how can i not say my cousin's O level english result? finally she passed and clear her english paper!!! yay!!!! this is really a great news for us!!!! FYI, she has taken the exam 3 times... each time she improves by 1 grade. from E8 to C6!!! I have yet never heard of anyone who scored so badly in an exam, but pressed on till he/she passes... until my cousin did it! i really salute her perserverence!!! Well done, lin!!! i am proud of you! :))
next, of course, another blessing arriving and i have been waiting is the arrival of my yongjie, which will be end of march! The Lord has blessed my pregnancy soooo much.... He gives me the ability to make my sugar under good control and He also helps me to control my weight... so far when i was 7 months preggy, i only gained 7kg!!! compared to preggy when i carried yongen i gained 23kg and preggy with yongqi i gained 15 kg overall!!! kekeke... i believe after giving birth, i will slim down easily...
really thank God for this year so far... i am looking forward to count and witness the Lord's more blessing to coming... Amen!!!
Thank God, yongqi adapts well in school. he likes school very much. He would come back with chinese nursery rhyme and songs... he is also a 'chinese person' like his dad...
the funny thing was when we asked him what did the teacher tell him or teach him today, he would answered 'teacher said sit down'... kekeke... i guess he had been walking around in the classroom... today he told me when he reached home, 'teacher did not angry me' i asked him did he walk around in the class, he said no... kekeke... guess thats why the teacher was not angry with him today!
yongen started this year well too... i have been doing revision on addition and subtraction with her and she could handle them well... esp on addition, she could do addition up to 20..
she also passed her first chinese ting xie and english spelling well. she scored 2 upon 2 for the ting xie and 4 upon 5 for her spelling (mispelt 'brush' as 'brsh')... considering the amount of time she spent on her spelling, i think she was very good le...
this year is a good year, i believe. so much good things has happened in january (oh ya, yongen knows how to spell 'january' now, within 4 days after school started,.. i am so proud of her...) God will bless us even more in year 2010.
Firstly, the school my hubby teaches in has changed principal... and this principal, to me, is a more practical and family focused person...
secondly, my hubby's last year students had scored well in their O level maths. among the students he taught last year who took the O level exam, only one failed. and he said that the school's overall performance on maths has improved tremendously. Thank God for that.
Talking about O level exam, how can i not say my cousin's O level english result? finally she passed and clear her english paper!!! yay!!!! this is really a great news for us!!!! FYI, she has taken the exam 3 times... each time she improves by 1 grade. from E8 to C6!!! I have yet never heard of anyone who scored so badly in an exam, but pressed on till he/she passes... until my cousin did it! i really salute her perserverence!!! Well done, lin!!! i am proud of you! :))
next, of course, another blessing arriving and i have been waiting is the arrival of my yongjie, which will be end of march! The Lord has blessed my pregnancy soooo much.... He gives me the ability to make my sugar under good control and He also helps me to control my weight... so far when i was 7 months preggy, i only gained 7kg!!! compared to preggy when i carried yongen i gained 23kg and preggy with yongqi i gained 15 kg overall!!! kekeke... i believe after giving birth, i will slim down easily...
really thank God for this year so far... i am looking forward to count and witness the Lord's more blessing to coming... Amen!!!
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