"EMO" too?

Today is sunday, sabbath day. i attended church with my hubby and kids. the worship part is not that bad. at least the kids did not bug me like previous weeks. i could not attend the sermon part. as yongqi refuse to let his precious mummy off. so i was in the sunday school with my dear son...everything seemed ok... until lunch time. i just blew ouyt of sudden when my kids got distracted by the cake displayed on the dining table, started to refuse their lunch...

after then, we had a short cell meeting to settle some admin matters and bried recap on sermon. looking at Yuxin, Jiafu and Huilan;s little fellow, i started to have deep but beyond my understanding thoughts. (sound ridiculous?) She is soooo cute!

I signed up for tambourine course at church. as my vision for my worship leading is to do so with tambourine. thus i love to get the hang of this weapon of GOD. Some sisters from other church joined us. among them, one is a two months pregnant young lady. not knowing why, i just cant get my attention off her... how i envy her...

why am i going thru all these? why am i like this? i dun know. but i really must thank God for my two pretty children. God is good enough to me i would say. but maybe deep in me, i want more children...

recently have the thought of wanting more than 3 kids... perhaps 4 or 5. but dw said that is too tight for singapore family, especially for single breadwinner family. i agree.. but hey i have a sister in Christ who has 6 children ley... hehehe... i think i am getting more and more hungry for having another child...

one resolution i want to make now. i am to be a pretty and happy expecting mummy if i am to get pregnant. my previous two expecting experiences were horrible. Grumpy, sloppy and angry... till people around me all scared of me.

Really my Lord, please give me another child. but the most important of all, my God, let the pregnancy be smooth and successful, and the baby be healthy and normal. In Jesus name, Amen!

(what i have gone thru made me somehow understand how couples without kids feel. I am now so burdened to pray for them.)