Read my sis’s posting on her blog. Was rather touched and sad. Cuz I felt the same years ago and I could understand her feeling. I was too, holding grudges toward the same person mentioned in her blog. But the Lord, changed me. Was still remember how I was crying to the Lord, asking Him to help me love him more….
Since I come to know Jesus, He has given me two greatest of all gifts, ie. LOVE and HOPE.
He gave me strength to forgive and love the person whom I hated most in my life. HE make me love him so much that I want to do things that please him. And I realized that, he is also a victim of the darkness, which he himself doesn’t know. I feel sad for him, really.
Another gift is HOPE. I remember 12 years ago when my beloved grandma passed away, I was so depressed. I was so upset that I would not be able to see my grandma again. Last November, I lost my fetus, but I was hopeful, cuz I know that one day when I get to meet Jesus, HE will return the fetus to me… well, who knows, maybe my Lord will return him to me even before I meet HIM! I believe, nothing is impossible to HIM! AMEN.
During Chinese new year visitation, I teared too without anyone knowing. I teared when I saw my uncle lying on the mattress, looking so weak and helpless and sick. He was the uncle who took care of me with my grandma when I was young, the uncle who doted me, served me like a princess when I was young. When I attempted to woke him from his sleep, wanting to ask yongen to address him ‘ lao chek’ , I felt the pinch in my heart. It was so heartache…just like my poem… ‘the young one will grow old, the old one will go weak…’
I thank God. Really thank HIM. Cuz shuilin and shuiting have turned to the Lord. And now they have grown up. Both are doing well in their own areas. At least, I have done my best to what I have promised my ah ma, to take care of them. The only one who still left me worried is their brother. Lord, please help this boy to come to YOU!
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