blog is revived!

hahaha... my sis set up her blog recently, tempting me to imply cpr to my blog and finally it is revived!

It has been so long since i last wrote here... I am writing in English now cuz my chinese program is encounting some problem. I am unable to activate it once i am online.. eeeeerrr..... so do bear with my english standard huh...

chinese new year is 2 days away from now. I am always excited like a kid for this season. i remembered myself crying in front of my mum at the end of the cny when i was 19 or 20 year old! omg!!!!

time really flies. i am now mother of 2 fellow, 5 yrs and 3 yrs (base on yr... hehe... makan sia as they both are yr end babies) i was pregnant with my third child last sep. unfortunately the foetus did not pull through. i had a miscarriage on 19 nov.

it is sad, really. recently my hp alarm reminded me that if it is still with me, it could have reached 16 weeks soon. i set this reminder alarm to keep track of my pregnancy age when i first found out of the pregnancy. and now it served as a reminder of the tragedy. my friend asked me to delete away the reminder but i decided not to. for a reason, unknown though...

the lost of this pregnancy causes my hubby and i more keen to have another child. we hope to accomplish this mission by 2009, meaning i have to conceive latest march to hae a december baby. Hope that this plan is also my Lord's will...

the lost of foetus is unknown. my gynae told me it was not due to what i had done or eaten. it is in fact common for foetus to stop growing in the first trimester. but maybe i know the reason....

God gave me a vision for this year. HE want me to be a good mother to my children. This makes me ponder how to be a good mother.... eversince i started to work from home, i am no more a good mother.... i have lost my focus....

recently i cried to God, i asked,'Lord, when are you returning me my yongle(the name i gave my lost foetus)?' and i think He answered,'when you are able to cope with the existing ones.' Frankly, i dun think i pass that yet. but for this reason, i will try hard.

dongwei and i agree that once i conceive, i will quit my current work from home job. my boss is supportive to the plan. but in order to be able to cope with the two and be a good mother so that God will give the third one, do i have to quit earlier?!?! May God guide me.

have been active in facebook recently. all pictures are posted in there and things are updated there almost daily. if you would like to visit me at my facebook, simply find me via my email jeslow@singnet.com.sg

i hope that in 2009, my relationship with my Lord will be closer. I really love to love my God with whole of my heart. I want to cling unto HIM no matter what happen.

Last but not least, God, thank you for all things that had happen in 2008. be it good or bad, YOU are by my side and that is the most important of all!