meet the parent session

today the kindergarten conducted a meet the parent session... dw went with us!!!

it was the first time dw visited their school since the kids are officially students of the kindergarten. the first and only time was when we registered for en...

the children and i were very happy to have their daddy with us to the school... really... its sooo difficult to have such opportunity...

yongen's teacher commented that en tends to be a dreamer in class! she tends to do her work very slowly...i am quite shocked to hear that cuz she has been fast worker at home! she also need to correct her writing posture as she always rest her head on the table when she does her work..

as expected, yongqi is one of the favourit boi to his teachers... his form techer commented that he would do something funny in the middle of lesson time in class to make everybody laugh. ha! in another word, clown of the class!!!! hahaha....

the chinese teacher commented that the children are very close to each other... the teacher feels that its so pleasing to see them love each other and their new brother as they keep talking abt yongjie at school. once yongqi punched yongen, the teachers lectured qi that he should not do that but guess what en said... she said,"its ok. though he hit me, i still love him cuz he is my brother!" the teacher said that all teachers were so touched to hear that! based on the progress book and the feedback from the teachers, i guess overall, yongen attain a grade of B+ (or A-) while yongqi has attained a C! that guy! still blur blur yet can give ppl a shock once in a while when he displays his unexpected capabilities...

i feel that its important to meet the teachers although the kids are still so young cuz by doing that, we get to kno how our kids r doing in sch and we also converse to the kids that 'hey, mummy is uodated with what u have done in sch.....

妈妈的心

勇杰今天满八周！好快！

我喜欢看着勇杰睡觉的样子。好可爱！虽然晚上时段让他搞得晕头转向，甚至有不好的埋怨词句，但是，一看见熟睡时的他，就忍不住要亲吻他的小脸蛋。他真的好可爱！

在看着他熟睡的样子时，我想我应该常常提醒自己，怀里所抱的宝贝，是上帝赐我的恩典啊！真的。每一个孩子顺利的出世，且是平安，且是健康正常的，都是神的恩典！我相信每一个做妈妈的，都知道我在说什么。。。

在怀勇杰的时候，我很担心。因前一次不好的经历，我实在害怕恶梦会重演。当我怀勇杰（其实在怀咏恩和勇齐时也是如此）进入第二孕期时，我又担心孩子是否会正常、健康。。。这样的担心，所有的担心，总是有增无减地折磨我直到我和肚子里的孩子见面为止！

每一次的祷告，我都会不忘为孩子的健康与智慧祷告。每一次提及我的梦想、愿望，我都是希望我的孩子们健康、有智慧且永远蒙住喜悦、保守，永远走在主的道路上。。。

看见许多时下青少年在自己的身上打孔、刺青，在健康上不自我珍惜，与他人殴打、吸烟、嗑毒，我就为他们的父母心痛。我回想我的咏恩和勇齐（尤其咏恩）在出世不久，因黄旦需入院作灯疗时，我不放心，牺牲自己做月应该多休息的需要，到医院陪伴孩子的日子。尤其记得因为当时是第一胎，而且咏恩的黄旦指数非常高，所以自己常常在医院偷偷地哭泣。。

更糟的是，咏恩在两周大时，医生发现她的一条心血管没有完全关闭，所以严格上来说，咏恩是需要长期做心脏检查，直到她动手术将这问题解决为止。这事让我非常心痛和内疚。虽然医生说这事与我无关，但我还是怪自己。。。真的，即使是用自己的生命或健康对换孩子的康复，我什么都愿意。。

妈妈的心就是如此。其实，爸爸的心也是一样疼惜子女，只是他们比较理智（女人比较感性），而且他们都不善于表达爱意，所以常常让孩子们觉得爸爸没有妈妈那样慈爱。或许，有时是爸爸（有些'严肃'的妈妈也是如此）还在学习当中。。怎么说呢？父母职责也是需要学习的呀！只是因为妈妈十月怀胎，所以比爸爸更先一步接触了宝宝，学习了为人母的特性。。。

主啊，求你保守所有的孩子们与父母们，让他们之间有美好的关系，晓得如何沟通。主啊，尤其是当他们步入叛逆期时，求你加倍地保守他们，救他们脱离凶恶，不叫他们遇见试探。谢谢主，奉耶稣的名祷，啊们！

thinking back...

Yongjie is 5 weeks old today. he is a strong and healthy boy. Thank God!

thinking back, 5 weeks ago i was anticipating the arrival of Yongjie... and i could still remember how hard i pushed this big fellow out of me.. kekeke...

thinking further back... ten yrs ago during this period, i was still wondering whether i will be married off.. kekeke... i was still single then, being left on the shelf, covered with spider web all over me...

i had never dare to dream of my wedding since i always thought i would never get married...to me, having the guy i love to love me as well was a fairy tale to me. and this fairy tale actually happened!and i could still remember how much tears i shed during our church ceremony.. tears of thankfulness and happiness...its was like at the end of all fairy tale, "the prince and the princess live happily everafter..."

well, not quite so, i would say... its just another phrase of life, another learning journey. Dating allows two persons to get to know more of each other's beauty... gotten married and spend lives together allow, i would say, teaches us how to accept each other's ugliness...
this is too realistic to be part of fairy tale thus the story always stop after it mentions the prince and princess got married... kekeke...

spending lives together, seeing and accepting each othet ugliness, learning to let each other's ugliness become part of each other's life... this is interestesting! dw and i are like two pcs puzzle that fit together to form picture. my strength covers up his weakness and his strength balance up my shortcoming points.. though we criticised each other at time (esp i would do that.. keke paiseh.. u know woman like to exercise their mouth alot), we know in out heart very well we are made to help each other. i thank God, for this relationship. and i thank God, i am no more on the shelf. kekeke...

now the most amazing and thankful thing is, dw and i are blessed with 3 children. gosh, not 1 or 2 but 3! what a good incredible number! most people will go wow when they hear the number '3' as nowadays young ppl like us will onli opt for 2... further more, 1st one is gal and 2nd one is boy, sooo perfect le, y go for third one, people we meet would ask us... kekeke... answer is, dw like to have 3 and i dun mind having more... cuz i enjoy childbirthing... kekeke yes, i am pervertish!

2 boys 1 girl is so perfect to us. this is exactly what we wanted. though my ideal position was let the last one be gal... but God is good. En, as the eldest gal help alot. she is a good helper, though at time she also problem creators... hahaha...

God is good to us. I pray that our family, our children will be faithful servants to God and let HIM use them almightily. i pray that my children will never stray away from God. Amen!

shoo shoo jaundice!!!

time flies... confinement over soon... nanny will be leaving tomorrow. thank God and thank for meizhen who recommended this nanny to me. she is different compare to my first two... my previous confinement were, i cant wait for nanny to go back so that i can handle the baby myself... for this time round, i feel bit sad that she leaving soon :(.... frankly, at first i did have some complain of her... hehe... i find her quite kaypo... but later then, i find that other than tt, she is ok... (oh... to yongen, nanny is too naggy... kekeke... can see that yongen and nanny do not like each other... once caught en whispered to nanny "you dun keep saying me hor (in chinese)" i find it so funny... but of course i did not laugh it out la)

yongqi's onli problem now is his jaundice... its still in an upward trend despite he is already 27 days old... doctor from polyclinic has done thyroid test, urine test, liver test on him le.. all tests are cleared (thx God)... so now dr suspect that its prolonged jaundice due to breastmilk.. but dr also commented that at this age, even it is bm jaundice, the index should be maintained at certain level, if not down trend... thus he is worry that it might be due to some other hidden reason...

dr advised me to introduce formula for at least 2 days before the next test so as to prove that it is indeed due to breastmilk... i was very reluctant to do that! my friend suggested that i could instead of doing what the dr advised, alternate feed the baby with bm and formula... hmm... i dun feel gd abt giving in to formula la...

yesterday we went for another check up... the jaundice was still going up.. dr asked us to check again coming friday. if it still uptrend, then they will refer us to kk for thorough check...

haiz... i was rather worried abt fri jaundice check... if we really need to go to kk, then it would be quite troublesome... what if yongjie need to be admitted to kk? noooo..... at that point of time, i was really "six gods no main" (in chinese, liu shen wu zhu)... i called kk lactation nurse, east shore lactation nurse and breastfeeding support group to leave messages. after then, i was too 'luan', i asked my nanny to go to super market to purchase a tin of formula powder. i decided to adopt the alternate feeding schedule.

later then all the parties returned me calls... all of them encouraged me to continue with breastfeeding. they assured me that even it is bm jaundice, the jaundice wont do any harm to the baby. if the jaundice is due to other reason, then bm is even more essential to curb the prob. they also said that i should encourage yongjie to drink even more so that he can pass out the bilirubin in his poo... the breastfeeding support person, after hearing that when i am feeding jie, he always squim and twist, keep popping the nipple in and out... the person said maybe yongjie wanted to pee or poo but he did not want to do it in the diaper... she forwarded some info on this to me...

in the evenning, we gave yongjie his first formula feed. after 3 hours, i latched him for bm. he didnt take much. he even puked on me! i was soooo frustrated!!!!

at night, i tossed and turned. i prayed in my heart, asked God for guidance and wisdom. should i continue with the formula? or press on to feed him my bm? the thought of next feeding would be formula again made me feel guilty and angry with myself!

thus at that moment, i decided to give up the formula, press on with my bm. and after reading the breastfeeding support person's email, i took out jie's diaper today and put him on potty after he squimed and twisted, popped my nipple during feeding. and woohoo.... he really pee and poo! i was so happy! kekeke... very the good leh!!!!

really need to pray for yongjie! Og God, pls heal yongjie his jaundice. let the index come down. thank you God! in Jesus name, Amen!

Many many thoughts...

Yongjie is 12 days old le... Everything is good and fine! I really thank God for all things. I never know how blessed I am till my confinement nanny keeps saying I very 'yong' (fit) and recover very fast.. She told me many of mummies she attended took abt two weeks to recover from wound, whereas I look so well since the day she saw me (which is day 2 after given birth).. She commented I dun look like like I just given birth at all! Praise God!

Really thank God for good milk flow and supply! Yongjie has been very well fed since day 4 and now he will always pay me with a big 'burp' after each meal! Kekeke....

The another thing to give thank is yongjie's jaundice. Though it's still under observation by Polyclinic, doc said he is mature enough so need not phototheraphy. Woohoo! So glad that he dun need to return to the hospital for light like his two elder siblings. (I was actually in stdndby mode that he would be the same as en and Qi lor)

yongjie really makes me proud of him.. He is so adorable and alert. He could trace noise and turn towards it.. He gives good eye contact. He is very mature.. He also establish good latch on skill since he was two days old. Very clever boy indeed.

Yesterday friends from mer visited me. Before they left, my lady friend hugged me. The hug sent me into thoughts again.. I remember end of 2008 the same friend hugged me to console me lost of yongle. Ya I suddenly thought of yongle... I never forget abt yongle. I will always remember to claim him from Jesus when I get to heaven. :))

yesterday dw brought Qi to the church. I was sort of quite worry abt him as he just recovered from viral fever. Thus I sent SMS to some of my trusted friends, asking them to monitor Qi and not let him take heaty or cold stuff.. Really thank God for these church sisters. Cuz of them, I can be very 'fang xin'! Ya, thanks alot sisters. Love u all so much! Thanks for taking care of my kids..

Really have many thoughts... Guess I have too much time... Kekeke... Really thank God for my hubby my children my parents my siblings my in laws my church sis n bros..... Thank you all! Muck!!

recuperating at home

woohoo.. yongjie has finally meet the world... he is soooo cute...
he is indeed a big baby... weighing 4.015kg, head circumference of 37cm and length of 53cm!
hmm.... this time, though the gynae told me it would be a long labor, it was still the same 3hrs wait after the drip... (not taking the pill insertion time into consideration...)

the contraction started after the drip was used on me... i experimented the use of the laughing gas and realise that by using it, the contraction comes closer and more intense... meaning the process will be faster than when i use the breadthing technic to conquer my pain...

i started my drip at 1.35pm after the gynae break my water bag. she instructed the midwife to check on me at 4.30pm to see if i have any further dilation... she told me that if by then i was still not dilated, she would consider giving me c section. and of course she also instructed, in case i have the 'pang sai' feeling, i can get the midwife to check my dilation...

at about 3pm, i was getting bored and thought that maybe a check of dilation may motivate me to go on... so i pressed the nurse bell to request for a check... but the midwife refused to check on me.. she said that the gynae instructed to check at 4.30pm unless i have the 'pang sai' urge... else its better not to check too often... so i no choice, back to my waiting boredom...

at about 3.45pm, i thought i was having the pang sai feeling le.. though not very intensive... i wanted the midwife to check my dilation. so i sort of exaggerated my pang sai urge... the midwife (happen to be another one, not knowing the gynae's instruction one) checked on me and told me its 6cm dilated.. i was so happy to hear that and i told her she should call the gynae le as from my past experiences, 6cm to 10cm could be very fast happening for me.... from there on, i started to use my laughing gas more frequently...

the midwife called the gynae and passed me a message that she was on the way.. in case the contraction comes again, just use the gas.. do not push.. let the dilation reaches 10cm first...

as time passed, the contraction is really intensed... the pang sai feeling is so XXXXXXXX and i really feel like pushing le....but i couldnt! so i lept using the gas, suck suck suck till i high high high.... then when my contraction ceased, i would shout 'where is the doctor?'

finally the pushing urge was unbearable le... the midwife told me if i had to push, then do it slowly... and i did according to instruction.. finally BLINK* my gynae sppeared! wow... so happy and glad!!!

ok pushing excercise finally to be administered! hey i realised i had not much strength to push hard eh!!! the midwives held my thigh, my hubby by my side, lifted my head forward... arrrr~~~~~~~ damn! the head is sooo big lor....but still need to push eh.... so i pushed... and finally the head emerged... and from there, its the gan jiong part... as my bb shoulder could be slightly bigger than his head... so once the head emerged, its important to push all the way so that his shoulder wont be stucked in there (which is my gynae's biggest worry) so the atmosphere was sooo tensed... the midwives pushed my thigh further (and they were lucky i didnt kicked them) and my gynae stood up to encouraged me... my hubby kept asking me to push.... what a BIG SHIT!!!! ARRRRRR~~~~~ ya... and the big shit finally out!

phew! when the weighing machine showed 4.015kg... i felt as if i got my result slip from an important exam like that.... and the result was indeed worth to be proud of... kekeke... i hit my targeted weight for this baby... above 4kg!!!

thank God! i am recuperating well! the wound is not painful anymore... the bleeding is not that much le... even the milk flow is good now (on day 4 lor)... just now after feeding my lil boy, he return me with a big BURP!!! kekeke... thats very satisfying!!!

now what we are to fight against is the jaundice threat. we have to go to the polyclinic to have yongjie's blood checked on monday... keeping our fingers crossed... may the Lord bless yongjie...

also another prayer requirment is that yongjie has to adjust his morning and night routine... he should wake more in the day and sleep more in the night... last night he wasnt very co operative... yet today whole day, he slept peacefully... lil terrorist! but he is cute! very cute terrorist!

oh ya, dreamt of my en and qi last night also... i dreamt that cuixian jie, with dw's consent, has arranged to give my qi away... i was so sad... i saw qi with his 'foster daddy' and i wanted my qi back yet they refused to let me get near him... sob sob... i cried... even till i woke from my dream.... i thought, 'no one is taking away any of my children!!! they are the most precious thing i have ever had!!!'

this dream made me miss my two children en and qi... its ok... they will be back tml... :) maybe when they back, i will start to call tolong and hope the weekend comes quickly so that they can be sent away again! :P kekeke...

Wait wait wait... To welcome my yongjie soon

Here I am in the hospital... Damn! The place is having renovation so drilling noise on and off.. But come to think of it, also gd la, Bb come out will get use of noise!! Kekeke... Now monitoring Machine on me. I have managed to take quick nap of at least an hour... Hmm.. Quite comfy!! Jus now heard next labor ward's happening. The woman was screaming man!!! I was in my heart cheering and praying for her. The moment I heard the Bb crier, I was so happy that I almost reared for that mum! Well done mummy!! Kekeke...

I was quite worried yesterday when Gynae told me Bb is big and some scary news like I may need to wait very long this time bla bla bla... But somehoe choosing to come bac to Esh make me feel I made the right choice so far.. The place make me feel warmth and like at home.. I start to have peace the moment I entered the labor ward. The midwife assured me alot and I really appreciated.

Ok. Better savey iPhone batt for later use. Kekeke...